Editors note: This post has been sitting on my blogger.com server for four days because every time I try to publish it, it fails. I'll talk more about blogger.com in a future post.
Samichlaus.
Before ol’ Samichlaus left the building yesterday, I had a conversation with my buddy James. James is the janitor here at my office building and is an ardent San Francisco 49er fan. Usually when we see each other, I’ll exclaim “What’s up James???!!!” and James will reply “I think that Favre guy ought to retire”
Yesterday however, James had a different response. “Tell me” he asked, “What’s up with that Javon Walker?”
I couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I’ll tell you what’s up, it’s that Drew Rosenhaus. Walker’s a good kid with massive talent, and he’s holding out for more money.”
“How much more?” asked James
“He wants to be paid like a top 5 receiver”
“Is he that good?”
Uh oh. I was stuck. On one hand, I believe Walker might be that good. He put up incredible numbers last year as the number three receiver. On the other hand, if I admitted he was that good, would I also then be supporting his hold out?
“Yeah. He’s that good”
James howled, “Come on, REALLY? Alright, let me ask you this, you think the Packers have a chance this year?”
I pointed to my Packer lunch bag that I was carrying. “James, I have to believe they have a chance. Every year”
“Oh , right”
“Look” I said, “Here’s the deal. Of course they have a chance. With all the parity in the league every one has a chance. Well, except the 49ers”
“Even with their defense? If you can call it that.”
“Yeah, but they’ve got that new coordinator from Miami, and let me tell you, even if the defense is 10 % better, we’ll win 13 games. I guarantee it.”
“I don’t know… that defense…”
“We’ll be fine! First they’ll get rid of Cletidus Hunt… do you know about him?”
I didn’t wait for James to answer.
“Hunt didn’t show up for mini camp. He’s a pot smoker, and not that I’ve got anything against pot smokers, but I don’t want them on my defensive line. That stuff mellows you out. Frankly, I’d rather have a crack smoker on my line. Look, it’s simple. Walker will play, the defense will improve, Favre will have a monster year, the Bears still suck, Detroit can’t play outdoors after October and the Vikings are still coached by Mike Tice. We’re going all the way”
James laughed.
“I’ll see you James”
“Yeah, see you!”
James walked off and then from down the hall said over his shoulder from down the hall “Man, how did they let Randy Moss go?”
“Mike Tice is still their coach”
You see how simple it is?
Just one little tiny little nothing-nothing jumped out at me as I read this. You, Dahhhhling, didn't do nearly enough drugs in your youth or you'd know:
ReplyDeleteCrack is BAD. Coke is BETTER!!
You get a crack player on the team and they'll have to be taking potty breaks every 1/2 hour just to keep the game face on. Now a good coke addict can refresh on the field just by "blowing" his nose.
I mean, we turn our heads from the drugs used in sports but it's kinda difficult to ignore a crack pipe being lit up on the side-lines, ya know?
Kisses
-Kicks