It’s true. I grew up in Queens a rabid Mets fan. My Dad was a Mets fan. My brothers were Mets fans. My Mom was a Mets fan. My best childhood friends were chosen because they were Mets fans. Until the day my Mom left the house I grew up in, a picture of Tom Seaver was taped to my bedroom door (by the way, that was June 2003).
With that said, I plan to prove my journalistic integrity by providing all of our fans at “Sportsblog Steves” an unbiased look at this weekend’s Subway series between the New York Mets and their cross-town rivals, the New York Asscorns.
Let’s break it down position by position.
First Base: Doug Mentkewich, err, Mentkevitch, err, Doug (Mets) vs. Tino Martinez (Asscorns). Big Doug is hitting .220 with 6 dingers and 17 RBI’s in 127 at bats. Martinez is hitting .277 with 12 dingers and 27 RBI’s in 112 at bats. Martinez was named “AL Player of the week” after hitting .391 and slugging 6 home runs in his last 6 games. Therefore, he’s due to cool off. Mientkiewicz (whew) has a really big last name. The extra letters on his uniform create an unfair handicap.
Advantage: Mets
Second Base: Kaz Matsui (Mets) vs. Tony Womak (Asscorns). Japan’s favorite son Kaz Matsui is hitting .243 with 3 homers and 17 ribbies. He’s still adjusting to life in America, which is to be expected. I mean, he’s only been here like a year and a half. Tony Womak is hitting .281, but hasn’t hit any home runs plus he’s lived in America all of his life.
Advantage: Mets
Shortstop: Jose Reyes (Mets) vs. Derek Jeter (Asscorns). Second year phenom Jose Reyes is living up to all the accolades he was advertised with. Hitting a solid .260 with 3 taters and 12 RBI’s, the speedy Reyes has 8 stolen bases to go along with his dynamite offensive production. Jeter, whose sex life has been well criticized by Asscorn’s owner George Steinbrenner, is having another sub-par year batting .319 with only 4 homers and 18 RBI’s. Jeter’s defensive range, calculated to be between second base and three feet to the left of second base is easily eclipsed by the defensive wizardry of Reyes.
Advantage: Mets
Third Base: David (Mister) Wright (Mets) vs. Alex (God’s other son) Rodriguez (Asscorns). The Mets other second year phenom, David Wright, was projected to be an average but solid performer. Who would have predicted the superlative contribution of 7 salamis, 21 RBI’s and an unbelievable .275 average? All I can say is “Wow”. On the other side of the river, A-Rod is proving once again to be the most overpaid man in the game. What does 200 million dollars get you? A .296 average, 14 home runs and 41 RBI’s. If Wright were paid that kind of dough, he’d be hitting (adjusting output to salary) .731 with 86 home runs and 362 RBI’s.
Advantage Mets.
Outfield: Carlos Beltran, Clint Floyd, Mike Cameron (Mets) vs. Hideki Matsui, Bernie Williams, Gary Sheffield (Asscorns). The crown jewel of the “New Mets” without a doubt is the dynamic trio of Beltran, Floyd and Cameron. The stats speak for themselves: Beltran - .296, 6 downtown and 24 knocked in. Floyd - .298, 11 round trips and 28 brought home. Cameron - .386, 4 smacks and 11 touching home on his behalf, all in 12 games. Compare this to the Asscorns: Matsui - .261, 3 HR’s and 36 RBI’s, Sheffield - .318, 6 HR’s and 29 RBI”s and Williams - .238 with 2 HR’s and 14 RBI’s. Factor in Sheffield probably takes steroids and Williams throws like a girl and this one's a no brainer.
Advantage – Mets Mets Mets
Catcher: Mike Piazza (Mets) vs. Jorge Posada (Asscorns). Future first ballot hall of famer Mike Piazza broke out of a slump in a huge way last week going 4-4 against a scrappy Reds team in Thursday’s finale. A hot Piazza sounds like indigestion in 30 minutes or less for the Asscorns. Posada, whose name in Spanish means “Fat, slow and sucky” has 5 home runs and 21 RBI’s this season.
Advantage – Mets
Pitching: With the off season acquisition of Pedro Martinez by the Mets and the loss of Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, David Wells, Ron Guidry, Whitey Ford, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich by the Asscorns, the Mets pitching staff dominates in every statistical category. Not even the acquisition of “The Big Unit” Randy Johnson has made an impact. The unit’s stiff groin has been a constant bother, rendering him virtually impotent.
Advantage – Mets
Intangibles: The Mets are a young exciting team, managed by the most dynamic young manager in the game: Willie Randolph. They possess a “never say die” attitude and a exuberance and passion for the game. The Asscorns are the only team in the history of professional sports to have a fatal disease named after one of their “immortals”.
Advantage – Mets
In the final analysis it is clear to this unbiased observer. To quote the great Bob Murphy “The Mets win! They win the damn thing!
No comments:
Post a Comment