Week, uhh, 11? 10? Shit, who cares, at least there are some picks

If you are expecting me to put the kind of effort St. Ides does putting these picks together fuggedaboudit. I don't have the time or inclination to research how well we did two weeks ago, nor do I care to color code this. Rather, I will provide our rabid reader base with exactly what they've been clamoring for: football picks. And if you want to thank anyone, you can thank Delta Airlines who have graciously stranded me in Albany Airport. We'll do a little different format this week: Visitor listed first, with the line against the home team. That's how USA Today does it so that's how I'm doing it. Any questions?

Holy poop, I'm a slacker. I blame work, the Seahawks maddeningly inconsistent season, and Anonymous for my lack of posts. Oh, and Barry Bonds. That lying fuck.

Last Time:
Samichlaus: 8-6
St. Ides: 6-8

Overall:
St. Ides: 42-45
Samichlaus: 31-56

Let's get to it...

Arizona @ Cincinatti (-3)
I like the Bengals at home, even though the Cards have been playing well as of late. Not sure why, but I think the Bengals have played far below their potential and will finally put together a solid performance
Bengals 27 Cardinals 21

Wow, look at this. I can now get away with a simple "I agree with him." Maybe I should let him pick first more often! The Cards are long overdue for a stinker, and on the road in Cinci seems like as good a place as any. Bengals 28, Cards 20.

Carolina @ Green Bay (-10)
That's a lot of points for the young Packers, who generally win their games by depending on some last minute heroics by Brett Favre. Last week's game was one for the ages but with the short week coming up I see a pre-Thanksgiving turkey for the green and gold. They'll win, but it will be closer than it should.
Packers 24 Cats 20

I took the Vikings plus a bunch of points last week, and the Packers knocked out Adrian Peterson and shut them out. I predict more of the same against a struggling Panthers offense. And check this out.. Combined age of the QBs in this game (Favre and Vinny): 82. Combined age of the starting QBs Alex Smith, Vince Young, and Jay Cutler: 71. (I tried desperately to find some rookie QBs around age 21 so I could squeeze 4 combined in totaling under 82, but the fact is just about every young QB is at least 23 or 24... ) Packers 23, Panthers 6.

Cleveland @ Baltimore (+2)
The old "home dog". We all know how my adopted dad, the senior St. Ides feels about this, but I'm going to go against my by-proxy old man. I like this Anderson kid too much and the Ravens have dissapointed all season. I'm seeing at least a field goal separating these two. Forgive me father...
Cleveland 20 Baltimore 17

I agree on this one. And for the record, in the pool I'm in with my dad this year, he's doing pretty horrible. So while his wisdom might make sense on a lot of levels, the NFL is just too damn predictable to not be flexible on certain points. Really the Browns should have beaten the Steelers last week. And the Ravens are a lot worse than the Steelers. Browns 23, Ravens 13.

Kansas City @ Indianapolis (-14.5)
Yikes! That's a lot of points for the Colts to cover against a team that knows how to play defense. Even without Larry Johnson I think the Chiefs can cover two plus TD's. Colts win, but fail to cover.
Colts 27 Chiefs 17

The Colts are WAY banged up. I mean, they were playing some dude at WR last week from their practice squad. Their defense is beat up, their offensive line is beat up, and Vinatieri missed two chip shots last week. So yeah, that's too many points. Colts 20, Chiefs 13.

Miami @ Philadelphia (-11)
Miami has wised up and is giving John Beck a start at QB. I like this kid a lot: strong arm, smart, decent mobility, and he comes from a great family. Whopsie. He's a Brigham Young guy, so at least he comes from a strange cult. Miami will win a game before the year is up, what with Rickey Williams returning next week, but this week it's Philly in an easy one.
Philadelphia 34 Miami 17

Speaking of young QBs... while doing the aforementioned search to try and find young QBs so I could say these 4's combined age is less than Vinny and Brett, Beck was on my list to check. The dude is 26. Maybe that's cause he was sent on a Mormon mission for a few years or something? I seem to remember so other BYU dude having a similar "old rookie" issue... Anyways, yeah, Beck will have some growing pains. Eagles 27, Dolphins 13.

New Orleans @ Houston (+2)
Father forgive me. New Orleans is playing good ball again, and Houston well, isn't. The Texans are following the inevitable course set by a team that has Mike Sherman on their staff: a slow march into oblivion. I'm going against the home dog again.
New Orleans 27 Houston 20

Saints had a big letdown against the Rams last week, who sent everyone and the kitchen sink after Brees. And it worked. So which team's coaches are smarter? The Saints and the ability to correct that problem and protect Brees better? Or the Texans and the ability to take that gameplan and run with it? I'll go with the Saints. (But just barely.) Saints 23, Texans 20.

Oakland @ Minnesota (-6)
Holy Fuck. Could this be the stinker of the season? And more importantly, is Minnesota really a favorite in this game?? Something is horribly wrong here, because the last time I checked Adrian Peterson was out. I don't know what I'm missing here folks so I'm just going with my gut. Oakland 20 Minnesota 17

Yeah, that line seems strange... The Vikings have zero offense without Peterson. And it seems the Packers may have found ways to run on that defense. Low scoring stinker of a game, to be sure. Raiders 13, Vikings 6.

San Diego @ Jacksonville (-2)
After a slow start, San Diego has begun to play better ball. Meanwhile the Jags posted a surprising 2-1 record under Quinn Gray, but expect David Garrard to be back in the lineup this week. Tough game to pick, so I'll go with the home team. Jags 24 Bolts 20

I like the Jags as well. The Chargers beat the Colts last week, but no thanks to Phillip Rivers. They can thank Manning and his 6 picks and Vinatieri for doing his best Vandershank impersonation. The Chargers remain mired in a pretty bad offensive slump, and the Jags have the D to keep them there. Jags 20, Chargers 16.

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (+3)
This is nuts. Could I possibly pick against another home dog? You betcha. Look folks, there's a reason why my picks have been off this year and maybe this is it: I've lost my mind. But I swear I don't see Tampa losing this game, nor do I see it as close as 3. I like the Bucs, and I like Jon Gruden, and you all know what I think of Atlanta.
Bucs 20 Atlanta 10

I'm gonna take the Falcons this week. The Bucs have been up and down and their running game is struggling a bit. Oh, and check out this tidbit from my good friend Peter King. When asked by a reader who the 3rd best QB in the NFC is this year (assuming Favre and Tony "Everyone is on his peepee til he sucks in December" Romo as #s 1 and 2)... here's what he said: "As of now, I'd pick Garcia, who has been the model of efficiency playing for a quarterback coach who demands it. Brees has had one spectacular month, not good enough for the Pro Bowl, even in these watered-down QB days. Hasselbeck has been more inconsistent than Garcia." Anyways, I think Garcia is about to prove that's he's not exactly Mr. Consistent Pro Bowl QB. Falcons 17, Bucs 13.

New York Giants @ Detroit (+2)
Finally! A home dog I can get behind! Don't get me wrong, I'm rooting big for the G-men to take it to Detroit, but the Lions are some Good Rats. OK, a free beer to the first one who gets the reference. Anyway, I think the Lions have some serious firepower, and although they have some serious flaws on D I like their chances against the overrated G-men
Detroit 34 New York 27

Good Rats? What's that a reference too? There's a Dropkick Murphys song by that name about a bunch of rats who run around amuck in a bar and jump into the Guinness and get drunk and drown in it. "Come on all you good rats, we'll send you up to heaven. You'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam. Cause in these vats you've made quite a creation. A potion that turned the Guinness to gold!" Now, I'm not sure what that means exactly, and it may very well have implications of drinking the Guinness and leaving puddles of piss behind, but it's a good song. Anyways, I'm taking the Lions. Lions 26, Giants 20.

Pittsburgh @ New York Jets (+9)
Another home dog I'll take. The Steelers have been in a few dogfights this year, and have been resilliant. I like Pittsburgh in a close one, close enough to take the Jets with the points.
Steelers 27 Jets 24

Yep. I'll take the points. Big Ben is a good for a bad game, and I envision a garbage time score or two for the Jets. It won't be a close game, but the final score might be. Steelers 23, Jets 17.

Washington @ Dallas (-11.5)
Is Dallas that much better than the rest of their division? I'm not convinced. The Redskins defense is pretty good (well, except for that one game against New England)and I see Shaun Springs giving Tony Romo enough fits to keep it close. I'll take the Skins and the points, and don't be surprised if there's an upset in the making.
Dallas 24 Washington 20

Eleven and a half? That's insane. I'll keep saying it until someone believes me - Romo is overrated. Skins 23, Cowboys 20.

St.Louis @ San Francisco (+2)
St. Louis played a solid game last week while the Niners played like a bunch of fairies. That's not a gay slur by the way, and shame on all of you for thinking that. I mean just because it's San Francisco? Hell, there are gay people everywhere, even in Schnectady. Shame on all of you, you dirty little monkeys.
St.Louis 23 San Francisco 17

Lotsa home dogs this week. And they all deserve to be. And most of them will lose bigtime. Niners are horrible. And here's some fantasy football news.. going into Monday night, I needed 20 points to win my game this week. I had Hasselbeck and Vernon Davis (former first round pick, highly talented and greatly hyped TE for the Niners) going. Hasselbeck got me 17 points. Davis got me one measly point. I lost. Their pass protection was so bad, they kept Davis (a mediocre blocker at best) in the block all game. In fact, his missed block was directly responsible for a devastating sack by Patrick Kerney. Anyways, Trent Dilfer returns to QB for the Niners, and they'll lose. Rams 26, Niners 10.

Chicago @ Seattle (-5.5)
Little Rex is back at QB, or so the Bears fans at my new company tell me. Which means bet your fucking house on Seattle. Tommie Harris is playing hurt, Brian Urlacher is playing hurt, and the Bears secondary hasen't been right since week 2. Seattle at home will score points and will be smart enough to kick the ball far away from Devon Hester.
Seattle 30 Chicago 13

God, I hope you're right. Seattle has absolutely crushed teams they should beat.. and lost to the teams that are average or better. (Though they've stuck around in every game except the Steelers loss.) Seattle lives or dies by their pass rush. They have something like 25 sacks in their 5 wins, and like 5 in their 4 losses. If they can get to Grossman, they'll win easily. I just don't have enough faith in their defensive coordinator to make that happen. Too often he's content to sit back and play Cover 2, while the front 4 get zero pressure and they get picked apart underneath. I'll take Seattle just because I'm not convinced Grossman can hit wide open receivers consistently, but I'm far from sure about this one. Seahawks 20, Bears 13.

New England @ Buffalo (+16)
The only difference between this game and the last game is Bill Belichick won't have to scramble out of town to fuck Dick Jauron's wife and kids. However, I never like betting against these gi-nourmous spreads. The Bills have been good enough to keep it with in reason,
New England 34 Buffalo 20

I think I had something clever to say about the Patriots, but with this game so far down on the list, I forgot what it was. Oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me by next week. I've been taking the Patriots and laying the massive point spreads until the Colts game. So I'll go back to that tradition, though it's tempting not to against an upcoming and hot Bills team. Pats 38, Bills 20.

Tennessee @ Denver
As much as I like Denver at home, I'm going with the road dog this time. All I can add to that is I see this as a case of the better team rising to the occasion.
Tennessee 31 Denver 24

Vince Young has been brutal lately. I'll take the Broncos at home. Broncos 26, Titans 20.