The very first blog I ever did started out with the postulate that I didn’t like to write. I always found writing to be an exercise in tedium at best, surpassed in its bore-inducing uselessness only by reading. Now there’s a waste of time. I can read a 400 page novel about the battle of Gettysburg and take a good month to finish it or I can watch a finely crafted TV show that takes a little less than an hour if it’s Tivo’d. Isn’t this a far better use of my leisure time?
Of course, writing the blog has changed my opinions considerably. I find that I actually enjoy writing. What’s more astounding is that I really enjoy reading the things I write, which has had a curious side effect: I’m enjoying reading what other people write as well.
I’ve been reading all sorts of stuff that other people write: blogs, magazine articles, news papers and books just to name a few. The whole book thing is really cool and if you’ve never read one they’re kind of like a blog except bigger. They cover all sorts of subject matter. Some of them are about true events and some of them are about events that are completely made up. The latter, referred to as “fiction”, are reminiscent of the Packers defensive game plans from last season. The other thing about books is there’s this whole secret cult that book people belong to. These people, called “readers”, both announce their membership and attempt to ascertain yours by asking the secret cult question: “So, what are you reading?” Non cult members do not comprehend this question, and usually reply with a snide comment like “Reading? I thought I was talking to you, asswipe.” Cult members that I have identified have several appropriate responses, but the one most frequently given is “The Da Vinci Code”. I have concluded that there is a heirarchial structure to the cult and that these are the lowest, most common members.
Today I’ve been reading about my beloved Packers. Training camp is in full swing as the Packers prepare for tomorrow night’s game against the San Diego Chargers. Expect the starting unit to play for the first quarter, the second unit to play for the second and third quarters, and the waver fodder to wrap it up in the fourth quarter. The game will be broadcast live on ESPN, and despite this I’ll still be tuning in.
Some of the things I’ll be watching:
1. Favre’s arm strength. As mentioned in the previous post, Favre’s arm looked a bit relaxed during the scrimmage. Favre worked hard on conditioning during the off season, but mostly on improving his quickness. The coaching staff does not seem to be worried about his arm, but I’m terrified.
2. The offensive line. The impact of the loss of Mike Wahle and Marco Rivera was never more evident than during the Packers – Bills scrimmage last Friday. Bills linemen and blitzing defensive backs were constantly harassing Packer quarterbacks. Once again, the coaching staff is not worried. Once again, I’m terrified.
3. Nick Collins from Bethune – Cookman. According to published reports, Collins has move into the starting unit at the free safety position. The rookie has had an outstanding camp thus far, but now faces two new challenges. First, he will be going against the opposing teams best players. Second, he will line up along side of strong safety Mark Roman who is universally regarded as the worst player on the worst defense in Packer history. I mention his college, Bethune - Cookman because St. Ides unmercifully busted my balls over this second round draft pick.
4. Mike Hawkins, fifth round draft pick and second unit / dime package corner. Here’s what Cliff Cristl had to say in today’s J.S. Online (Milwaukee newspaper): “In the close to 60 years that the Green Bay Packers have played two-platoon football, they might have had only one rookie cornerback display as much potential as Mike Hawkins this early in camp. That was Willie Buchanon in 1972. Some old scouts still claim he was the best cornerback prospect ever, at least pre-Deion. To this point, Hawkins has made a play almost every day that jumps out.”
5. Najeh Davenport. Well, at least Karen will be watching him. Najeh returned to practice on Tuesday after injuring his ankle during Friday’s scrimmage. Expect him to see some playing time against the Chargers.
6. The Packers Defense. I saw some things I liked on Friday and some things that I didn’t. For example, I liked the aggressive play of the first unit linemen. I didn’t like the second unit at all, which looked an awful like Bob Slowik’s “defense” from last year. This time the coaches agree with my assessment. I’m liking this Jim Bates guy more and more.
7. Aaron Rogers. I can’t wait to see him play at game speed. I liked the way he handled himself on Friday. He showed a strong quick release and a nice touch on the ball, but for the most part the kid was running for his life.
Enjoy the rest of your day, you wacky SBS fans!
email me at samichlaus@sportsblogsteves.com
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Are You Ready For Some Football?
I'm getting rolling now…
Monday Night Football made its (pre-)season debut last night with the Hall of Fame game between Miami and Chicago. I had it on, if only to see how Ricky Williams looked. The first thing I was reminded, before the game even started, is that some how, some way, the people who put on these productions have no fucking clue how to get in touch with the actual fans…
The opening scene for last night's game included the Muppets. The goddamned Muppets! Now, do they think there are actually young kids who are familiar with the Muppets interested in watching a meaningless pre-season game? Or are they attempting to "connect" with my generation, who grew up with The Muppet Show? Either way, it seemed like a bad idea. But it got worse. Out came the "old timers" (the ones who used to sit in the balcony heckling Kermit and Fozzie, I think their names are like Waldorf and Dinkleberry, or something like that) sporting Miami Dolphins caps and jerseys. And huge gold chains. The scene went something like this (and, dear god, I WISH I was making this up):
Waldorf: "Yo yo yo, are you ready for some football, dawg?"
Dinkleberry: "Fo shizzle my nizzle."
Waldorf: "The Dolphins are in the hizzouse."
Dinkleberry: "Word up."
*Dramatic pause*
Waldorf: "I have no idea what we just said."
*They both break out in laughter*
*Enter Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, sporting Bears clothing*
Kermit: "Hi ho! Are you ready for some football?"
Dinkleberry: "Fo shizzle, froggy-nizzle."
Kermit: "Then let's get the pigskin ready and get this party started!"
Miss Piggy: "Pigskin?!?!!? Haiiiiiiii-Yaaaaa!"
*She karate chops all three of them*
Like I said, I wish I had imagined that. But I hadn't. And if that's a sign of things to come from the NFL pre-game, post-game, halftime, and commercial breaks this year, I might just have my TV on permanent mute.
I only half watched the game really, I mean, it's frickin pre-season. But I did catch a fairly interesting interview with Ricky Williams. For the first time in recent memory, a sideline reporter during a game actually asked a few GOOD questions. Among the questions: "Did the lawsuit with the Dolphins suing you to get back millions of your contract money have any influence on your decision to come back?" (Ricky didn't say no, but didn't say yes. You know it had to.) "How are your teammates treating you after you stood them up last year?" (Ricky basically said that he understands that he let them down, and has to put in the hard work to show he's serious about contributing this year." And, my personal favorite, "Do you think you are going to be able to avoid further problems with smoking marijuana?" I couldn't believe they asked this, I actually laughed and cheered when they did. I think Ricky was a little surprised too. He basically said that he's planning on moving forward, he learned a lot in his time off (yeah, like he can't pay his bills without an NFL paycheck) and thinks he can control himself.
In other football news, Madden 2006 comes out today. I'm going to try and pick it up during lunch. I'm a little bit apprehensive because I have been a ESPN NFL2K fan over the past several years, and always picked up that one over the Madden series. But with EA Sports and NFL banging out an exclusive multi-million dollar deal to be the only ones with rights to use actual player names, Madden is now the only game in town. They even merged with ESPN to use the graphics and style and stuff this year. So I'm just hoping there isn't a huge difference between the gameplay and franchise modes I've learned to love in NFL 2K. And I'm looking forward to playing with Seattle's revamped defense. Lofa Tatupu is getting plugged in at starting MLB no matter what they have his rating at.
Monday Night Football made its (pre-)season debut last night with the Hall of Fame game between Miami and Chicago. I had it on, if only to see how Ricky Williams looked. The first thing I was reminded, before the game even started, is that some how, some way, the people who put on these productions have no fucking clue how to get in touch with the actual fans…
The opening scene for last night's game included the Muppets. The goddamned Muppets! Now, do they think there are actually young kids who are familiar with the Muppets interested in watching a meaningless pre-season game? Or are they attempting to "connect" with my generation, who grew up with The Muppet Show? Either way, it seemed like a bad idea. But it got worse. Out came the "old timers" (the ones who used to sit in the balcony heckling Kermit and Fozzie, I think their names are like Waldorf and Dinkleberry, or something like that) sporting Miami Dolphins caps and jerseys. And huge gold chains. The scene went something like this (and, dear god, I WISH I was making this up):
Waldorf: "Yo yo yo, are you ready for some football, dawg?"
Dinkleberry: "Fo shizzle my nizzle."
Waldorf: "The Dolphins are in the hizzouse."
Dinkleberry: "Word up."
*Dramatic pause*
Waldorf: "I have no idea what we just said."
*They both break out in laughter*
*Enter Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, sporting Bears clothing*
Kermit: "Hi ho! Are you ready for some football?"
Dinkleberry: "Fo shizzle, froggy-nizzle."
Kermit: "Then let's get the pigskin ready and get this party started!"
Miss Piggy: "Pigskin?!?!!? Haiiiiiiii-Yaaaaa!"
*She karate chops all three of them*
Like I said, I wish I had imagined that. But I hadn't. And if that's a sign of things to come from the NFL pre-game, post-game, halftime, and commercial breaks this year, I might just have my TV on permanent mute.
I only half watched the game really, I mean, it's frickin pre-season. But I did catch a fairly interesting interview with Ricky Williams. For the first time in recent memory, a sideline reporter during a game actually asked a few GOOD questions. Among the questions: "Did the lawsuit with the Dolphins suing you to get back millions of your contract money have any influence on your decision to come back?" (Ricky didn't say no, but didn't say yes. You know it had to.) "How are your teammates treating you after you stood them up last year?" (Ricky basically said that he understands that he let them down, and has to put in the hard work to show he's serious about contributing this year." And, my personal favorite, "Do you think you are going to be able to avoid further problems with smoking marijuana?" I couldn't believe they asked this, I actually laughed and cheered when they did. I think Ricky was a little surprised too. He basically said that he's planning on moving forward, he learned a lot in his time off (yeah, like he can't pay his bills without an NFL paycheck) and thinks he can control himself.
In other football news, Madden 2006 comes out today. I'm going to try and pick it up during lunch. I'm a little bit apprehensive because I have been a ESPN NFL2K fan over the past several years, and always picked up that one over the Madden series. But with EA Sports and NFL banging out an exclusive multi-million dollar deal to be the only ones with rights to use actual player names, Madden is now the only game in town. They even merged with ESPN to use the graphics and style and stuff this year. So I'm just hoping there isn't a huge difference between the gameplay and franchise modes I've learned to love in NFL 2K. And I'm looking forward to playing with Seattle's revamped defense. Lofa Tatupu is getting plugged in at starting MLB no matter what they have his rating at.
Monday, August 8, 2005
Steroids, Halls of Fame, and Football, oh my!
So many things to talk about, so little time. Let's start with the steroids thing. Frickin Rafael Palmeiro, probably the only player in baseball history to hit 500 homeruns and not be a lock for the Hall of Fame. And that was BEFORE this steroid thing hit. I mean, really. If you followed baseball casually or very closely, have you ever said to yourself (or heard anybody else say) "Uh oh, Palmeiro is up next. Look out." I mean, quite simply this guy was never really a feared hitter. So how did he quietly reach the magic plateau or 500 HRs and 3000 hits. I think we know the answer to that…
Performance enhancers maybe? And no, I don't mean Viagra. And yes, that joke has been beaten into the ground (since Palmeiro has done Viagra commercials in the past), but I'm still using it dammit. All of the sudden, Giambi, McGwire, and yes, even Bonds don't look like such bad guys. Under oath, Giambi admitted taking steroids. His testimony was leaked, he's struggled through the past 2-3 seasons, and I think it's safe to say he's "clean" now (the loss of 50 pounds or so might be a good hint) and his bat is starting to heat up. From all accounts from players, coaches, and reporters, he's a "good guy". Under oath, McGwire did not admit to using steroids, but he did not deny it either. His double talking jive about "Let's not talk about the past" was bashed in the press, who pretty much jumped to the conclusion that his lack of denail was admission of guilt. Under oath, Mr. Palmeiro not only categorically denied taking steroids, but he defiantly wagged his finger at Congress. Now, the jackass is busted. Not only has he been suspended from baseball, made the poster child of MLB's "tougher drug policy", had all his records and numbers tarnished, been a target of daily Viagra jokes, and probably blown his chances at the Hall of Fame.. If that's all not bad enough, he's under investigation for perjury! Yikes.
So, the next question is.. What do we do about the Hall of Fame caliber players during this "juiced era" of baseball? Good frickin question. I think it's fairly safe to assume at this point a vast majority of the big home run hitters over the past decade have been juiced: McGwire, Bonds, Sosa, Palmeiro, and Giambi are the most visible, but no doubt there are more. You'll hear arguments like "Yeah, but steroids doesn't help them hit the ball! They still are very talented players!" Fair enough, but the juice could be the difference between a home run and a routine fly ball. It's impossible to quantify the difference in home runs it would make.It's going to be interesting to watch how the rest of this plays out, and how the voting goes in a few years. But really, how can you take one of the bunch and not the rest? Seems like it should be an "all or none" type approach. And then, you get to the issue of uncertainty. Bonds still denies using. So does Sosa. McGwire never said he did, but never said he didn't. Can you really say Bonds is a Hall of Famer but McGwire is not? I don't see how.
Speaking of Hall of Famers… Dan Marino and Steve Young were both inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame yesterday. I watched some of the ceremony on the NFL network, and it was classy and touching. Two very deserving QBs who I was lucky enough to watch in their primes while I was growing up. Even in New York playing pickup fooball games, Dan Marino jerseys were very popular. It's too bad they never really gave him the running game he needed to win a Super Bowl, but he still has to rank right up there among the best QBs ever. And between the Hall of Fame ceremony, tonight's pre-season game on TV, and our fantasy football league starting to take shape, I think I'm about ready to kick into full NFL blogging mode. ;)
Performance enhancers maybe? And no, I don't mean Viagra. And yes, that joke has been beaten into the ground (since Palmeiro has done Viagra commercials in the past), but I'm still using it dammit. All of the sudden, Giambi, McGwire, and yes, even Bonds don't look like such bad guys. Under oath, Giambi admitted taking steroids. His testimony was leaked, he's struggled through the past 2-3 seasons, and I think it's safe to say he's "clean" now (the loss of 50 pounds or so might be a good hint) and his bat is starting to heat up. From all accounts from players, coaches, and reporters, he's a "good guy". Under oath, McGwire did not admit to using steroids, but he did not deny it either. His double talking jive about "Let's not talk about the past" was bashed in the press, who pretty much jumped to the conclusion that his lack of denail was admission of guilt. Under oath, Mr. Palmeiro not only categorically denied taking steroids, but he defiantly wagged his finger at Congress. Now, the jackass is busted. Not only has he been suspended from baseball, made the poster child of MLB's "tougher drug policy", had all his records and numbers tarnished, been a target of daily Viagra jokes, and probably blown his chances at the Hall of Fame.. If that's all not bad enough, he's under investigation for perjury! Yikes.
So, the next question is.. What do we do about the Hall of Fame caliber players during this "juiced era" of baseball? Good frickin question. I think it's fairly safe to assume at this point a vast majority of the big home run hitters over the past decade have been juiced: McGwire, Bonds, Sosa, Palmeiro, and Giambi are the most visible, but no doubt there are more. You'll hear arguments like "Yeah, but steroids doesn't help them hit the ball! They still are very talented players!" Fair enough, but the juice could be the difference between a home run and a routine fly ball. It's impossible to quantify the difference in home runs it would make.It's going to be interesting to watch how the rest of this plays out, and how the voting goes in a few years. But really, how can you take one of the bunch and not the rest? Seems like it should be an "all or none" type approach. And then, you get to the issue of uncertainty. Bonds still denies using. So does Sosa. McGwire never said he did, but never said he didn't. Can you really say Bonds is a Hall of Famer but McGwire is not? I don't see how.
Speaking of Hall of Famers… Dan Marino and Steve Young were both inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame yesterday. I watched some of the ceremony on the NFL network, and it was classy and touching. Two very deserving QBs who I was lucky enough to watch in their primes while I was growing up. Even in New York playing pickup fooball games, Dan Marino jerseys were very popular. It's too bad they never really gave him the running game he needed to win a Super Bowl, but he still has to rank right up there among the best QBs ever. And between the Hall of Fame ceremony, tonight's pre-season game on TV, and our fantasy football league starting to take shape, I think I'm about ready to kick into full NFL blogging mode. ;)
Saturday, August 6, 2005
Packers have a long way to go
Watching the scrimmage between the Packers and the Bills last evening reminded me of watching one of those “Jason” movies. I saw a lot of characters wearing green and gold absolutely killed, and in the end there was no sense of satisfaction or vengeance. The Packers were out classed in every aspect of the scrimmage. Their offensive line was consistently backed into the pocket leaving quarterbacks Aaron Rodgers and Craig Nall running for the nearest whistle. The defense looked no better than last year, though at this stage of the season I suppose could indicate an improvement. Only place to go is up, right?
Here’s the breakdown by positions:
Quarterbacks:
Brett Favre opened the show leading the first team offense, and although he wasn’t close to sharp, he played well. Favre was 7 -13 and threw three TD’s during a red zone drill. His arm looked, how shall I put this, relaxed? Favre did pedestrian work and gave way to Rodgers, who never really got anything going. Mind you, this was not his fault. Two of his passes were dropped, and he was sacked three times. Craig Nall was uneventful, and J.T. O’Sullivan looked small and out of place. I suspect O’Sullivan won’t make the next round of cuts.
Receivers:
Driver and Walker were quiet. Walker broke open on a deep route but was overthrown by Favre. Driver had one reception for 16 that included a nice run after the catch. Robert Ferguson did not catch a pass. Punt Returner / Receiver Andre Chatman had two receptions, but dropped two easy passes and did not adjust his route on two hot reads by Rodgers. Tight End Ben “Butterfingers” Steel made 2 easy catches look difficult and scored a TD on each.
Running Backs:
Davenport was hurt on his second run and did not return. According to Sherman, he didn’t realize Najeh was out. "I'm not exactly sure when that happened. I was unaware of it until I was calling for him and realized he couldn't go in," Sherman said. Ahman Green looked solid and managed to hold on to the ball. William Henderson and Nick Luchey looked OK out of the full back position.
O-Line.
Be afraid, be very afraid. I saw more Sam Adams in the Packers backfield than I usually do in St. Ides’s refrigerator. Favre’s going to second guess his decision to continue playing if this situation does not improve.
Defense:
Jim Bates has not finished installing his defensive scheme. I hope. Although there was some improved tackling, the defense didn’t look much different than last year’s version. Bates’s running defense attempts to contain the runners to the middle of the field. The Bills backs figured this out quickly and countered by running plays into the middle, then bouncing the backs around the pile for big gains. The secondary picked up where they left off last year leaving players uncovered for huge receptions. It’s only August 6th, right? I’ll be fine.
Odds and ends
Mike Sherman looked like (in Karen’s words) a broken man. We couldn’t help but notice the tremendous amount of weight that Sherman gained this off season. Every time they’d show him Karen would go “Wow! Look at his ass!” It was hard to miss. One of Sherman’s ass cheeks looked like two of Donald Drivers. It was also hard to miss Jim Bates, all fit and trim with a fresh hair dye and a newly grown mustache.
Sherman is in the last year of his contract and clearly his ego has taken a huge hit. Stripped of his GM duties, Sherman looks like he’s taken out his frustration on the nearest side of beef he could get his hands on. He doesn’t look healthy. He needs to take control of his life, check his ego at the door and get in shape soon.
Or else this job will kill him.
Here’s the breakdown by positions:
Quarterbacks:
Brett Favre opened the show leading the first team offense, and although he wasn’t close to sharp, he played well. Favre was 7 -13 and threw three TD’s during a red zone drill. His arm looked, how shall I put this, relaxed? Favre did pedestrian work and gave way to Rodgers, who never really got anything going. Mind you, this was not his fault. Two of his passes were dropped, and he was sacked three times. Craig Nall was uneventful, and J.T. O’Sullivan looked small and out of place. I suspect O’Sullivan won’t make the next round of cuts.
Receivers:
Driver and Walker were quiet. Walker broke open on a deep route but was overthrown by Favre. Driver had one reception for 16 that included a nice run after the catch. Robert Ferguson did not catch a pass. Punt Returner / Receiver Andre Chatman had two receptions, but dropped two easy passes and did not adjust his route on two hot reads by Rodgers. Tight End Ben “Butterfingers” Steel made 2 easy catches look difficult and scored a TD on each.
Running Backs:
Davenport was hurt on his second run and did not return. According to Sherman, he didn’t realize Najeh was out. "I'm not exactly sure when that happened. I was unaware of it until I was calling for him and realized he couldn't go in," Sherman said. Ahman Green looked solid and managed to hold on to the ball. William Henderson and Nick Luchey looked OK out of the full back position.
O-Line.
Be afraid, be very afraid. I saw more Sam Adams in the Packers backfield than I usually do in St. Ides’s refrigerator. Favre’s going to second guess his decision to continue playing if this situation does not improve.
Defense:
Jim Bates has not finished installing his defensive scheme. I hope. Although there was some improved tackling, the defense didn’t look much different than last year’s version. Bates’s running defense attempts to contain the runners to the middle of the field. The Bills backs figured this out quickly and countered by running plays into the middle, then bouncing the backs around the pile for big gains. The secondary picked up where they left off last year leaving players uncovered for huge receptions. It’s only August 6th, right? I’ll be fine.
Odds and ends
Mike Sherman looked like (in Karen’s words) a broken man. We couldn’t help but notice the tremendous amount of weight that Sherman gained this off season. Every time they’d show him Karen would go “Wow! Look at his ass!” It was hard to miss. One of Sherman’s ass cheeks looked like two of Donald Drivers. It was also hard to miss Jim Bates, all fit and trim with a fresh hair dye and a newly grown mustache.
Sherman is in the last year of his contract and clearly his ego has taken a huge hit. Stripped of his GM duties, Sherman looks like he’s taken out his frustration on the nearest side of beef he could get his hands on. He doesn’t look healthy. He needs to take control of his life, check his ego at the door and get in shape soon.
Or else this job will kill him.
Friday, August 5, 2005
Mike Tyson's Penis
This can’t possibly be true…
From NYDailyNews.com
Mike Tyson might be turning from his fists to another body part to make a living.
The former champ says he's been approached by reps for porn star Jenna Jameson to co-star in a X-rated movie. The free-spending pugilist, who was pummeled recently by the tax man, says he told Jameson's people, "I need the money up front."
Boxing writer Pedro Fernandez recalled in Zoo magazine that, "according to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14 inches long. If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star."
The muscleman has been spending this week on the beaches of Saint-Tropez with some shapely ladies. Maybe he's in training.
Not the porn part, I totally buy that, but there's no way Tyson has 14”. Any man with that kind of penis couldn’t possibly be as angry as Tyson. Besides, I’ve seen him at weigh-ins in those little shorts, and unless he’s got it tucked under his balls and halfway up his ass he’s got a normal pecker just like all the rest of us.
How the hell could he box? He'd have to wear a cup the size of Don King's hair.
Then there’s that cute little lisp, but I won't even go there.
Tyson was a really good boxer once, but he'll always be a disgusting excuse for a man. No matter what his penis looks like.
From NYDailyNews.com
Mike Tyson might be turning from his fists to another body part to make a living.
The former champ says he's been approached by reps for porn star Jenna Jameson to co-star in a X-rated movie. The free-spending pugilist, who was pummeled recently by the tax man, says he told Jameson's people, "I need the money up front."
Boxing writer Pedro Fernandez recalled in Zoo magazine that, "according to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14 inches long. If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star."
The muscleman has been spending this week on the beaches of Saint-Tropez with some shapely ladies. Maybe he's in training.
Not the porn part, I totally buy that, but there's no way Tyson has 14”. Any man with that kind of penis couldn’t possibly be as angry as Tyson. Besides, I’ve seen him at weigh-ins in those little shorts, and unless he’s got it tucked under his balls and halfway up his ass he’s got a normal pecker just like all the rest of us.
How the hell could he box? He'd have to wear a cup the size of Don King's hair.
Then there’s that cute little lisp, but I won't even go there.
Tyson was a really good boxer once, but he'll always be a disgusting excuse for a man. No matter what his penis looks like.
The Diabetic Football Fan
Much like my 3 greatest childhood heros: BB King, Wilfred Brimley and the Pillsbury Dough Boy, I am a diabetic. About 2 months ago I took a blood test known as the A1C which revealed that my blood was made up of 22% hemoglobin and 78 % maple syrup. This caused ol’ Samichlaus to reevaluate his lifestyle, and although I was no longer the “beer drinking fool” of my younger days, I could no longer afford to be a “carb eating fool” either. I began to wonder where the root of my health issues lay, and realized that one need not look any further than this blog.
“Super Bowl Sunday proved to be a gastronomical Armageddon at the Samichlaus household, featuring my famous Italian breaded wings served with blue cheese and buffalo sauce, a baked brie en cruet , little pizza thingies, sausage and pepper sandwiches, potato chips, onion dip, tortilla chips, 2 kinds of salsa, cheese dip, fresh veggies with ranch dressing, Ritz crackers and Triscuits. I never did break out the pimento dip. This feast was enjoyed by the whole gang, which consisted of Karen, Holly and me.”
Yep.
I didn’t even bother to mention the beer, and if you’re thinking “Well, it was Super Bowl Sunday, he couldn’t possibly eat like this every week” you’d be right. Usually I wouldn’t bother putting out the fresh veggies.
Tonight begins my first foray into the world of diabetic friendly football viewing. I must say that I am thrilled the NFL network is showing the “Packer Family Night” scrimmage. This friendly practice between the Packers and the Inferior Assembly of Football Players And We Use The Term Players Loosely Known As The Bills will prove an excellent opportunity to try some new football finger foods. I’ll be snacking on some low fat, low carb dilectables like fat free cheese with turkey pepperoni, turkey pastrami Reubin sandwiches on low carb bread, and we’ll throw in some celery for good measure. I’ll wait until next week to break out my chicken wing replacement: Grilled chicken breasts basted in wing sauce, hold the breading thank you very much. That should be a treat.
The scrimmage should be a lot of fun. We’ll get our first look at Jim Bates’s defense, albiet a vanilla version of it, as well as Aaron Rodgers who according to publised reports looked “better than Favre” yesterday. We’ll get to hear some cheesy local Green Bay announcers too. Family Night is a local broadcast tradition in Green Bay and all that the NFL network is doing is picking up the local feed. I love stuff like this. Everytime I think “Gosh, I wish Karen and I lived in Green Bay instead of the goddamn Confederacy”, it’s broadcasts like this that make me thank the good Christ that we don’t. That, and the fact that my little wife would probably look like a red headed popsicle by mid November. No thanks.
There isn’t much you can learn about the Packers or the Bills tonight. Remember, this isn’t even a preseason game. It’s a practice, so the teams aren’t going to show much. Favre will run a couple of drives, then probably give way to Craig Nall… or Rodgers. That’s something to look at: who do the Packers bring in second? If Rodgers comes in after Favre, that tells me that he’s having a better preseason that we’ve thought. It also could mean the end of last year’s third stringer J.T. O’Sullivan. Watch for Najeh Davenport to see some action since the Packers are already depleted in the running back position. It will be interesting to see how he looks playing at 243.
For the Bills, all eyes will be on quarterback J.P. Losman, whom the Packers nearly drafted last year. Losman is expected to start for the Bills, replacing Drew Bledsoe and is considered to be quite the prospect. Wisconsinites will also be cheering for WR Lee Evans and DB Troy Vincent who were standouts for the UW Badgers. Evans is fun to watch, if you can spot him. The diminutive Evans runs a 4.3 40, so look for the guy sprinting past Al Harris and you’ve found him.
Enjoy the practice, and stop by again tomorrow for my review…
SportsBlogSteves goes legit, with our own domain name and everything!!!!
Email me at Samichlaus@sportsblogsteves.com
…and email St. Ides at stides@sportsblogsteves.com . Steve needs a little prodding to blog again folks so let him know how annoyed you are that he hasn’t written.
“Super Bowl Sunday proved to be a gastronomical Armageddon at the Samichlaus household, featuring my famous Italian breaded wings served with blue cheese and buffalo sauce, a baked brie en cruet , little pizza thingies, sausage and pepper sandwiches, potato chips, onion dip, tortilla chips, 2 kinds of salsa, cheese dip, fresh veggies with ranch dressing, Ritz crackers and Triscuits. I never did break out the pimento dip. This feast was enjoyed by the whole gang, which consisted of Karen, Holly and me.”
Yep.
I didn’t even bother to mention the beer, and if you’re thinking “Well, it was Super Bowl Sunday, he couldn’t possibly eat like this every week” you’d be right. Usually I wouldn’t bother putting out the fresh veggies.
Tonight begins my first foray into the world of diabetic friendly football viewing. I must say that I am thrilled the NFL network is showing the “Packer Family Night” scrimmage. This friendly practice between the Packers and the Inferior Assembly of Football Players And We Use The Term Players Loosely Known As The Bills will prove an excellent opportunity to try some new football finger foods. I’ll be snacking on some low fat, low carb dilectables like fat free cheese with turkey pepperoni, turkey pastrami Reubin sandwiches on low carb bread, and we’ll throw in some celery for good measure. I’ll wait until next week to break out my chicken wing replacement: Grilled chicken breasts basted in wing sauce, hold the breading thank you very much. That should be a treat.
The scrimmage should be a lot of fun. We’ll get our first look at Jim Bates’s defense, albiet a vanilla version of it, as well as Aaron Rodgers who according to publised reports looked “better than Favre” yesterday. We’ll get to hear some cheesy local Green Bay announcers too. Family Night is a local broadcast tradition in Green Bay and all that the NFL network is doing is picking up the local feed. I love stuff like this. Everytime I think “Gosh, I wish Karen and I lived in Green Bay instead of the goddamn Confederacy”, it’s broadcasts like this that make me thank the good Christ that we don’t. That, and the fact that my little wife would probably look like a red headed popsicle by mid November. No thanks.
There isn’t much you can learn about the Packers or the Bills tonight. Remember, this isn’t even a preseason game. It’s a practice, so the teams aren’t going to show much. Favre will run a couple of drives, then probably give way to Craig Nall… or Rodgers. That’s something to look at: who do the Packers bring in second? If Rodgers comes in after Favre, that tells me that he’s having a better preseason that we’ve thought. It also could mean the end of last year’s third stringer J.T. O’Sullivan. Watch for Najeh Davenport to see some action since the Packers are already depleted in the running back position. It will be interesting to see how he looks playing at 243.
For the Bills, all eyes will be on quarterback J.P. Losman, whom the Packers nearly drafted last year. Losman is expected to start for the Bills, replacing Drew Bledsoe and is considered to be quite the prospect. Wisconsinites will also be cheering for WR Lee Evans and DB Troy Vincent who were standouts for the UW Badgers. Evans is fun to watch, if you can spot him. The diminutive Evans runs a 4.3 40, so look for the guy sprinting past Al Harris and you’ve found him.
Enjoy the practice, and stop by again tomorrow for my review…
SportsBlogSteves goes legit, with our own domain name and everything!!!!
Email me at Samichlaus@sportsblogsteves.com
…and email St. Ides at stides@sportsblogsteves.com . Steve needs a little prodding to blog again folks so let him know how annoyed you are that he hasn’t written.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
Men, their bathroom escapades, and training camp
The first part of this blog has nothing to do with football. While combing through last month’s email putting together my monthly status report, I came upon this litte biscuit that I sent to my cousin. I really can’t explain why as I hurtle towards my 43rd year this stuff still makes me laugh. Hysterically. As in I was starting to get funny looks at the office. But it does, and I suspect our male readers will agree. Here’s the first paragraph:
Hey Dude,
I haven’t heard from you in so long, I thought I’d write. Things are going really well lately, though it’s been hot as hell down here. Every day it gets into the upper 90’s and every night there’s a Wizard of Oz storm that cools things off to the mid 90’s. Gotta love the South. What really prompted this email though was the shit I just took. Since becoming a Weight Watcher 13 weeks ago, my shits have become these big, wide, O-ring busting boulders that leave me prostate on the can after I finally squeeze them out. In fact, I hadn’t taken a shit since Wednesday morning. That’s got to be a family record of some sort, at least in the men’s division. I remember Anne had an issue once where she didn’t go for something like 12 days but I digress. Anyway, last night I took some Metamucil to try to loosen things up, but all it did was create a whole lot more bulk, so when I finally did poop it was like passing a fuckin football. Christ almighty.
In case you’re wondering, my cousin appreciated the email. Here’s a small edited sample…
LOL. This is great. I love emails about shits!
The shits are tough on the low carb diet. I would go 2-4 days without a shit. It's unreal. But it's not an uncomfortable 2-4 days, and when the shit finally comes it's like a bonus.
Hey, does Metamucil give you the farts?
The discussion carried on for a few more emails but I’ll spare you the details. I suspect this is all our fans care to know about Samichlaus’s adventurous anus. Well, Packer training camp is open and in full swing! The only starter not in camp is Bubba Franks, who has not signed a contract. Franks’s contract expired last year, so the Packers designated him a “transition” player and offered him a one year deal.
A little tutorial on NFL contracts. Teams can designate one player per year either a “franchise player” or a “transition player”. These are sort of insurance policies for the team. There are several subcategories of each, but here’s the easiest definition: a franchise player must be paid a salary equal to the average of the 5 highest salaries for his position, while a transition player is paid a salary equal to the average of the 10 highest salaries for his position. If another team makes and offer to a transition player, the team has the right to match the offer. It's a little more complicated with Franchise players but you get the gist.
Bubba’s one year deal is for about 2.1 million, but he’s looking for a multi year offer in the 3 – 4 million a year range. The Packers aren’t biting, and are playing hardball. Essentially, Franks is a good Tight End. He’s a great blocker and pretty much catches everything thrown near him. He’s not very fast, but he’s deceptively quick. Is he one of the top 5 Tight Ends in the league? I think so, but I’m an old school kind of guy. The “modern” Tight End is smaller and faster than Franks. He is a deep threat and can stretch defenses. But he doesn’t block the run like Bubba, and he doesn’t have Bubba’s soft hands.
Franks is also a team leader. He’s never missed a start in 80 games. He keeps himself in top condition, and works hard to improve his game. He’s a great example to the younger players. The Packers need Bubba Franks in camp and soon. In fact Brett Farve said as much this week. They better stop messing around and get this done.
The reports out of camp have been encouraging. Yesterday I watched an interview with Defensive Coordinator Jim Bates and by the time he was done I was convinced that I should draft the Packer Defense in my fantasy league. You know ol’ Samichlaus is crazy enough to do it too. There have been several defensive standouts so far, including Nick Collins (the Bethune-Cookman all star) and Roy Manning (the undrafted free agent from, hwat's that small school program again? Oh yeah, Michigan). Bates even had high praise for super stoner Cletidus Hunt, who decided to show up after missing the two mini-camps.
The Offense has yet to show much, mostly due to Favre’s rustiness. Coaches are singing the praises of second round pick Terence Murphy, who has shown speed, good hands, and maturity. Also, Karen’s main man Najeh Davenport showed up weighing a trim 243 lbs after losing 22 lbs on the Jenny Craig plan. Davenport had hired a nutritionist and had worked to lose weight but was not having success. In desperation, he literally wandered in to the Jenny Craig office on South Onedia St across from Lambeau field. The staff member who worked with him had no idea who he was. Davenport reported that she asked him if he ran, to which he replied “I try”.
TV Viewing Update: The NFL network will be broadcasting “Family Night” from Lambeau Field this Friday at 8:00 EDT. This years Family Night features a scrimmage with the Buffalo Bills. Next Thursday, August 11th, the Packers kick off their preseason schedule with an 8:00 game against the San Diego Charges. ESPN will carry the game live.
Hey Dude,
I haven’t heard from you in so long, I thought I’d write. Things are going really well lately, though it’s been hot as hell down here. Every day it gets into the upper 90’s and every night there’s a Wizard of Oz storm that cools things off to the mid 90’s. Gotta love the South. What really prompted this email though was the shit I just took. Since becoming a Weight Watcher 13 weeks ago, my shits have become these big, wide, O-ring busting boulders that leave me prostate on the can after I finally squeeze them out. In fact, I hadn’t taken a shit since Wednesday morning. That’s got to be a family record of some sort, at least in the men’s division. I remember Anne had an issue once where she didn’t go for something like 12 days but I digress. Anyway, last night I took some Metamucil to try to loosen things up, but all it did was create a whole lot more bulk, so when I finally did poop it was like passing a fuckin football. Christ almighty.
In case you’re wondering, my cousin appreciated the email. Here’s a small edited sample…
LOL. This is great. I love emails about shits!
The shits are tough on the low carb diet. I would go 2-4 days without a shit. It's unreal. But it's not an uncomfortable 2-4 days, and when the shit finally comes it's like a bonus.
Hey, does Metamucil give you the farts?
The discussion carried on for a few more emails but I’ll spare you the details. I suspect this is all our fans care to know about Samichlaus’s adventurous anus. Well, Packer training camp is open and in full swing! The only starter not in camp is Bubba Franks, who has not signed a contract. Franks’s contract expired last year, so the Packers designated him a “transition” player and offered him a one year deal.
A little tutorial on NFL contracts. Teams can designate one player per year either a “franchise player” or a “transition player”. These are sort of insurance policies for the team. There are several subcategories of each, but here’s the easiest definition: a franchise player must be paid a salary equal to the average of the 5 highest salaries for his position, while a transition player is paid a salary equal to the average of the 10 highest salaries for his position. If another team makes and offer to a transition player, the team has the right to match the offer. It's a little more complicated with Franchise players but you get the gist.
Bubba’s one year deal is for about 2.1 million, but he’s looking for a multi year offer in the 3 – 4 million a year range. The Packers aren’t biting, and are playing hardball. Essentially, Franks is a good Tight End. He’s a great blocker and pretty much catches everything thrown near him. He’s not very fast, but he’s deceptively quick. Is he one of the top 5 Tight Ends in the league? I think so, but I’m an old school kind of guy. The “modern” Tight End is smaller and faster than Franks. He is a deep threat and can stretch defenses. But he doesn’t block the run like Bubba, and he doesn’t have Bubba’s soft hands.
Franks is also a team leader. He’s never missed a start in 80 games. He keeps himself in top condition, and works hard to improve his game. He’s a great example to the younger players. The Packers need Bubba Franks in camp and soon. In fact Brett Farve said as much this week. They better stop messing around and get this done.
The reports out of camp have been encouraging. Yesterday I watched an interview with Defensive Coordinator Jim Bates and by the time he was done I was convinced that I should draft the Packer Defense in my fantasy league. You know ol’ Samichlaus is crazy enough to do it too. There have been several defensive standouts so far, including Nick Collins (the Bethune-Cookman all star) and Roy Manning (the undrafted free agent from, hwat's that small school program again? Oh yeah, Michigan). Bates even had high praise for super stoner Cletidus Hunt, who decided to show up after missing the two mini-camps.
The Offense has yet to show much, mostly due to Favre’s rustiness. Coaches are singing the praises of second round pick Terence Murphy, who has shown speed, good hands, and maturity. Also, Karen’s main man Najeh Davenport showed up weighing a trim 243 lbs after losing 22 lbs on the Jenny Craig plan. Davenport had hired a nutritionist and had worked to lose weight but was not having success. In desperation, he literally wandered in to the Jenny Craig office on South Onedia St across from Lambeau field. The staff member who worked with him had no idea who he was. Davenport reported that she asked him if he ran, to which he replied “I try”.
TV Viewing Update: The NFL network will be broadcasting “Family Night” from Lambeau Field this Friday at 8:00 EDT. This years Family Night features a scrimmage with the Buffalo Bills. Next Thursday, August 11th, the Packers kick off their preseason schedule with an 8:00 game against the San Diego Charges. ESPN will carry the game live.
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