Taking the Schott for Slowik

Both the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and the Green Bay Press Gazette are reporting that the Packers have fired Defensive Backs coach Kurt Schottenheimer. This is the worst news Packer fans could have received at this crucial juncture in team history.



It’s not that Schottenheimer is any good, in fact he was God awful. Packer DB’s had their worst collective season in recent history, and Schottenheimer was their leader and apologist. His laid-back coaching style completely failed, eventually leading to a televised sideline shouting match between DBs after Randy Moss scored his now infamous ass wiping touchdown. The reason why this is such bad news is because Schottenheimer is the second worst coach on Defense.



The worst is Bob Slowik.



And if the decision was made to fire Schottenheimer at this juncture, we can only assume that the decision was made to keep Slowik. And that is a crime. Of course this should come as no surprise. Mike Sherman’s one tragic flaw is that he does not admit mistakes. One only needs to look as far as the B.J. Sander fiasco to see how deeply this trait runs in Sherman. When the team needed defensive help, he kept the punter. When we were down to three healthy receivers, he kept the punter. No matter what detriment the team faced Sherman kept the punter rather than admit this tremendous misjudgment Releasing Slowik after firing Ed (Antonio Salieri) Donatell would be to admit a mistake, and having his pride shook this week would be too much for the suddenly fragile Sherman.



I watched Sherman’s season ending news conference. He was visibly shaken, and at one point got testy with MJS reporter Tom Silverstein. That was atypical behavior for the usually patient and classy Sherman, although in all fairness Silverstein’s question was inaudible. After today’s events I was left hoping that the exchange went something like this:



Silverstein: Coach, can you comment on what it’s like to have a filthy toothless cocksucker worthless piece of shit moron scumbag douche pissstain like Bob Slowik for a defensive coordinator, and could you tell us when the public castration will be held? Also, have you gotten an “I told you so” call from Mike McKenzie?



Sherman: (Pauses) Why don’t you ask one of your unnamed sources? They’re more reliable than me. Next question.



I’ve been checking the wires periodically, hoping for some sign that I’m wrong. Any rumor will do, anything that says “Packers fire Slowik”. I’ll even settle for “Unnamed source says Packers fire Slowik” but if it doesn’t happen soon, then I’ll be looking for stories titled “New Packer GM Fires Sherman”



PS: The character of Antonio Salieri remarks at the end of “Amadeus”: “That’s what I am, the patron saint of mediocrities”

PPS: I just shared this news with Karen, who in stunned robotic voice began repeating "ALL DEFENSIVE COACHES MUST BE FIRED!!!"

email me at: samichlaus@beerdrinkingfools.org