How about them Packers?

I think the absolutely worst most boring thing bloggers can write about are prognostications and predictions. That's why the crack staff at SBS provides you with loads of 'em, from out weekly picks to this boring dribble that I'm about to write: The Packers season: you heard it here first...

OK kids, you want to know what's going to happen this season? Feel free to cancel your subscription to NFL Sunday Ticket fellow cheeseheads because here's the season in a nutshell...

Week 1: Philadelphia at Green Bay: I predict that special teams and defense will be the difference maker in the season opener. I also predict that rookie kicker Mason Crosby will win the game on a last second field goal. Watch for it.

Week 2: Green Bay at New York Giants: I predict a Packer road win against a beat up Giants team that is missing three starters (or two and a half if Manning plays hurt). Favre gets his first and second TD tosses, throws 1 pick, and suspectly falls at the feet of Michael Strahan who needs one more sack to pass Lawrence Taylor for the all time Giants record.

Week 3: San Diego at Green Bay: I predict a Packers loss against the most talented team in Football. Not even Norv Turner can fuck this team up, and that's saying something.

Week 4: Packers at Minnesota: I predict a Packer loss. Still reeling from the beatdown pimpslap the Chargers put on them, the Vikings sneak a win on a last minute pick and TD run-back.

Week 5: Chicago at Green Bay: I predict a Packer win. This week, they're pissed and the overrated Bears pay for it. Favre is on fire, while Rex Grossman admires from the sideline. After the game a frustrated Grossman, looking for someone he can beat up, mercilessly attacks Bob Costas.

Week 6: Washington at Green Bay: I predict a Packers win. Besides Clinton Portis, who do the Redskins really have? The Packer D shuts 'em down easy

Week 7: Bye. Mrs. Samichlaus and I finally have a chance to use all those coupons from "Bed, Bath and Beyond"

Week 8: Green Bay at Denver: I predict a Packer loss. Denver demonstrates the correct technique for executing a zone-blocking running scheme, and schools the Packers. Its a lesson the Pack won't forget.

Week 9: Green Bay at Kansas City: I predict a Packers win. After watching the HBO mini series "Inside Training Camp with the Kansas City Chiefs" I've come to two conclusions: Herm Edwards is an idiot, and the Chiefs suck. I will say this about Edwards: the man can still run up the stadium stairs. Perhaps after he gets fired he can pick up some work as a concessionaire.

Week 10: Minnesota at Green Bay: I predict a Packers win. Revenge is a dish best served cold, as in November in Green Bay cold. The Vikes are overmatched and overwhealmed.

Week 11: Carolina at Green Bay: I predict a Packers win. Carolina's diminutive Steve Smith gets shut down by Al Harris, and David Carr (who is starting because Jake Delhomme has gotten injured at some point) is just too pretty and gay to do well in a November game in Wisconsin.

Week 12: Green Bay at Detroit (Thanksgiving): I predict a Packers loss. The overconfident Packers fail to adjust for the Detroit Thanksgiving mojo and are caught by surprise. Meanwhile, Detroit wins its second game of the season.

Week 13: Green Bay at Dallas: I predict a Packers win. Since both teams played on Thanksgiving, you might think that the extra time off is not a factor. But you are wrong. The extra time gives Green Bay the opportunity to further prepare for the Cowboys and gives the Cowboys just the right amount of time to realize that Bill Parcells isn't their head coach any more.

Week 14: Oakland at Green Bay: I predict a Packers win. Come on, do I really need to explain this one???

Week 15: Green Bay at St. Louis: I predict a Packers loss. Favre hates playing in that stadium. Some of his biggest stinkers have been against the Rams and this game is no different. Favre attempts to mitigate this by bringing his wife Deanna with him, but does not succeed in "leaving my boners back at the hotel".

Week 16: Green Bay at Chicago: I predict a Packers loss. Chicago, desperately competing for the last wild card spot pulls out all the stops and starts newly acquired Daunte Culpepper at QB. Catching the Packers off guard, the Bears unveil their new offensive scheme. Known as the "South Side Offense", it is a variation on the "run and shoot" and is also referred to as the "shoot and run".

Come on, that's a pretty good line for an out of work computer geek

Week 17: Detroit at Green Bay: I predict a Packers win... and I'd love to explain this but my wife needs the computer.

Final record 10-6
The Pack makes the playoffs!