Week Two Picks

Week one is in the books, here comes week two! I'll tally up how we did last week a bit later, I'm trying to get these done so they're available for our fans bright and early Friday morning!

Carolina +7.5 at Atlanta
I’m perplexed by how poorly Jake Delhomme has played. This week the team has rallied around him, and Delhomme has promised a return to his “old self”. Meanwhile Atlanta continues to impress: they sure looked good against the Dolphins, who I picked to win. I’ll go with the Falcons at home: Atlanta 31 Carolina 17

I’m not perplexed at all. The dude was never really much more than a slightly above average QB with an awesome #1 receiver, solid running game, and good D. He’s thrown 9 (yes, NINE) interceptions in his last 2 (yes, TWO) games! That’s more than some QBs throw all season. Stick a fork in him. Falcons 26, Panthers 17.

St. Louis +10.5 at Washington
That’s a lot of points for a poor team to cover, and yes I’ve stopped listening to the hype. Jason Campbell is a nice guy who looked like a deer in a gunsite last week. Sorry kids, Samichlaus won’t get suckered again. Skins win, but maybe by a TD. Washington 25 St. Louis 17

I don’t know, the Rams are pretty bad. I’d like to believe Seattle’s defense is really that good, but honestly, Bulger had nobody to throw to so they stuck 8 in the box to stop Steven Jackson. The Rams could get shut out for the second week in a row. Skins 16, Rams 3.

Houston +8.5 at Tenn
Houston gets a TD and point and a half. Or a TD with a 2 point conversion and a half. Or a, well you get it. Tennessee played well against the Super Bowl champs last week, and with a few extra days to prep should have an easy time at home against the Texans. Oh, and Houston last week? They got a dirty Sanchez for their effort. Another lost Samichlaus pick…. Tennessee 37 Houston 10

Oh man, dirty Sanchez jokes again… I totally agree here, the Titans will be ready for their home opener with some extra rest and the bitter taste of that OT defeat in Pittsburgh in their mouths. Houston was a popular “sleeper” pick before the season. I should have said it before last week’s game, but I’ll say it now – don’t buy the hype. Titans 26, Texans 10.

New Orleans +1.5 at Philly
You’re kidding, right? St. Ides reports that several casinos have bets off for this game. The line obviously came out before we knew who would be the quarterback for Philly… who the hell is the QB at Philly? Well, at least SBS readers can rejoice: Jeff Garcia is back in the league. If only I could find that sound-bite where he says he “didn’t feel crisssssp today”. New Orleans 31 Philadelphia 13

Annnnnd Samichlaus gets his picks in first and beats me to the Jeff Garcia joke. Have you seen his “wife” ? Ooofa. Go Google “Carmella Garcia” sometime. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah. Kevin Kolb (who?) is likely the starter for Philly. Is Drew Brees human? Saints 30, Philly 17.

Pats -5.5 at Jets
The Pats / Buffalo game was as good a game as I’ve seen. Who’da thunk it? Truth be told, Brady looked pedestrian for 56 minutes, and looked like Tom Brady for the last 4. I like the Jets at home. Pats come off a tough Monday nighter, while Rex Ryan fires up some interesting defense. Maybe the Pats win, but I don’t think the cover. I like the Jets: Jets 24 Patriots 21.

Brady only becomes a hero in that game because of that bonehead taking that kickoff out of the endzone. But that wasn’t the worst part really. The worst part was fighting for an extra yard. A completely and utterly meaningless yard. It’s not like he’s fighting for a first down. It’s not like he’s going to break away from 3 guys who have him totally wrapped up. GET THE FUCK DOWN!!!! The dude had his lawn vandalized after the game. And I probably shouldn’t say this, but I don’t feel bad for him. Anyways, yeah, the Pats defense doesn’t look so hot. But I suspect Belichick will still cook up something to confuse Sanchez enough into some mistakes. I’ll still take the points. Jets 27, Pats 31.

Oakland +3.5 at KC
Both these teams were surprisingly competitive in week one (two more Samichlaus losers… did I get ANY games right?) So it comes down to the Chiefs at home. I like the Chiefs Brody Croyle better than Jamarcus Russell at this stage of their careers. Add the 80,000 at Arrowhead and the Chiefs cruise: Chiefs 24 Raiders 17

I was hoping the Chiefs would knock off the Ravens. Oh well. It’s hard to pick against the Chiefs at home especially coming off a good game and facing an equally shitty team. But sometimes you have to take a chance and make those hard picks. Raiders 24, Chiefs 23.

Arizona +4.5 at Jax
Arizona is done. After one week I’m convinced. Everyone will bring their “A” game against them. They’ll wind up 4 – 12 this year. Jacksonville is a good football team, and they played Indy better than I expected. I’ll go with the Jags: Jacksonville 20 Arizona 13

I flipped to the Cards-Niners game a few times on Sunday, and every time I did, I saw Warner looking either totally dejected, limping off the field, or pulling his jersey back over his shoulder pads. I kept thinking, “Yep, he’s hurt.” But he wasn’t. It’s only a matter of time though. Seattle will continue to be the only team in recent history to lose the Super Bowl and make the playoffs the following year. (Further proving the some funny business was going on that altered the outcome of that game and the grand scheme of the Football Gods.) Jags 23, Cardinals 17.

Cinci +9.5 at GB
Packers off an emotional win Sunday night where the offensive line was awful. Aaron Rodgers nearly got killed out there by several viscous hits including one by Brian Urlacher that should have been a penalty. It took one good pass to beat the Bears. Cincinnati has a good receiving corps, and say what you want about Chad Ochocinco, he’s a good player. There’s been some twitter shit between him and Packers LB Nick Barnett. Chad’s been tweeting that he’s coming after Barnett. Cool your jets, they played together at Oregon State. Packers win but do not cover : Packers 29 Bengals 21

That was a rough rough loss for the Bengals last week with that crazy deflection to Stokley. I felt bad for them. I felt worse for myself having Laverneus Coles on my fantasy team and watching him drop 4 passes. Ugh. No way the Packers don’t cover at home. Their new defensive look is getting rave reviews. Packers 24, Bengals 10.

Minnesota -10.5 at Detroit
Watch out. Minnesota is the unstoppable force. Give Adrian Peterson the ball and get the hell out of his way, The Vikes are going to get better and better as the year goes on. Until December when their quarterback’s arm falls off. Honestly, I don’t see what Detroit can do to stop Peterson and Favre. Minnesota 37 Detroit 10

Let’s not get carried away. They were losing to the frickin Browns at halftime last week, and never really pulled away in the game. Also keep in mind that the Lions were a Dan Orlovsky bone-headed step out of the back of the end zone safety away from beating the Vikings last year. I think Matthew Stafford has a good home opener, and the Lions stick around. Vikings 23, Lions 17.

TB +4.5 at Buffalo
What an effort by Buffalo last week. They played tough and gritty on the road for 56 minutes. This week they’ll get the ball to T.O. a bit more and won’t make any mistakes. Tampa Bay is worse than I thought. Their defensive scheme has changed, and they have no means of scoring. Bucs fans are in for a long season: Buffalo 20 Tampa Bay 13

Yeah, Buffalo should have won that game. Now they go home to try and recover. And not only did Tampa Bay’s defensive scheme change, they lost their legendary coordinator (Monte Kiffin), linebackers coach (who is now the Seattle defensive coordinator), Derek Brooks, and Warren Sapp. What? Sapp retired a few years ago? Well, Ronde Barber looked a bit old on some plays last week. So yeah. They’re officially in rebuilding mode. Bills 23, Bucs 10.

Seattle -1.5 at SF
How ‘bout those Seahawks? Seattle looked quite formidable last week in one of the few games I got right, San Francisco looked better than I expected. I think Mike Singletary might be on to something. But I like Seattle to win in a “close but not that close” kind of game. Hassleback is back: Seattle 27 San Francisco 24

On one hand I’m very happy with last week. On the other, it was against the Rams… Which is sort of like when big name college teams open up against the likes of Western Michigan or Toledo.. So basically, we don’t know how for real they are. If they can win this week, they might start to get some people believing in them (including me) and they will be 2-0 in the NFC West. Which means they’ve got a nice head start on winning the division. Also, #4 overall draft pick Aaron Curry was flying all over the field last week. The dude looks for real. At one point he caught Steven Jackson from behind, tackled him by diving through him, and lifted him off the ground while slamming him into the dirt. And Steven Jackson is no weakling. Some have said Curry is basically a replacement for the traded Julian Peterson. He is. Except he’s 20 pounds heavier, noticeably faster, a hell of a lot stronger, and only a rookie. If he stays healthy, I’ll be shocked if he’s not Defensive Rookie of the Year. Niners 24, Seahawks 20.

Pitt -3.5 at Chicago
Bears fans came down to earth after Jay Cutler threw four picks against Dom Capers 3-4 D. I have news for Cutler: if you think the Packers 3-4 was a challenge, wait until you get a load of what Pittsburgh does with it. I think the Bears are always a good pick at home, but I’m going with the Steelers to beat the home dog. Steelers 23 Bears 17

Losing Urlacher for the year is a pretty big blow to the Bears. But the Steelers offensive line woes are becoming more and more obvious, as is their lack of a consistent running game. I’ll take da Bears. Bears 19, Stealers 10.

Cleveland +3.5 at Denver
Denver caught a HUGE break last week in pulling out a win over KC, but this week they’re home. I love Denver at home, even sucky Denver teams like this one. I’m going to play it safe and go with the Broncos: Denver 20 – Cleveland 15

That was such a gift, I think we get some instant karma back in the other direction. Two former Belichick pupils square off. Have you seen the new Romeo Crennel Coors Light commercials yet? Good stuff. Browns 16, Broncos 14.

Baltimore +3.5 at SD
Tough game to pick. I like Flacco, and I love Baltimore’s D. I also love Baltimore’s famous crab cakes and pit beef at “Chapps”. I’ve never been to San Diego but I imagine their local food involves avocados. San Diego is a good team, but I wonder if they are tough enough to match the intensity of the Ravens. Tell you what, let’s take the west coast home team. San Diego 24 Baltimore 20

Both these teams let pretty crappy teams stick around last week. I think the Chargers and Phillip Rivers will get going this week, though yeah, the Ravens D is still scary. Can you tell I’m getting lazy as we get towards the end of the picks? Chargers 24, Ravens 20.

Giants +2.5 at Dallas
I think Dallas is going to be “quiet good” this year: no more T.O, strictly business. But I really think the Giants are the crème of that division, and I see an upset in the making. I’m looking forward to seeing that big, ridiculous screen and the havoc it wreaks on game day. Giants 20 Dallas 15

“Quiet good?” With everybody still kissing Tony Romo’s ass, and every that goddamn low hanging jumbotron in the new stadium making headlines? Unlikely. If Dallas is even halfway decent, everybody from Peter King to Chris Berman to John Madden will be sucking their peepees. Speaking of the stupid scoreboard, I read an interesting idea somewhere.. I forget where or else I’d give them credit.. You know how the rule is that anything that hits the scoreboard is a “do over” right? Well say a team is losing big late in the game. What’s to stop the losing team from repeatedly hitting the screen (with a punt or a pass) over and over and over and over.. and over and over…? Is there anything the refs could do about this situation? Would the Cowboys eventually have to relent and forfeit the game? I so hope this happens. Anyways, I think they choke in the home opener. Giants 23, Cowboys 20.

Colts -3.5 at Miami
Maybe I’m wrong about the Fins. They sure looked pedestrian last week. But the Colts didn’t look any better. So it Peyton Manning against Chad Pennington. Jesus. Peyton and Chad. Sounds like those two guys in college that I used to kick the shit out of. I’ll take the Colts this week giving the 3.5, Colts 27 Dolphins 20

Yeah, I didn’t buy your Miami optimism last week, and I’m sure not buying it now. The Colts didn’t look much better but the Jaguars always play them tough. It’s a rule. Colts 24, Dolphins 17.