Week 7..all of it...

A note to our loyal readers (all three or so of you…we chart IP addresses here at the “SBS Data Center and Business Intelligence Compound”). This weekend it is once again safe to turn on your TV’s. The NFL has mercifully scheduled a bye week for the Seattle Seahawks. And not just the really good Seahawks who showed up two weeks ago, but the crappy ones too who mailed one in last week against Arizona. However those of you here in the 804 be forewarned: the Redskins play on Monday Night. We strongly advise switching to TNT or Bravo at 8 PM on Monday where you can probably catch a rerun of one of the “Law & Order” franchises. This has been a PSA from your ol’ pal Samichlaus. Go Packers.

Well, the small glimmer of hope I’m still hanging on to has to do with this bye week and us potentially getting back several injured players. We’ll see though. The offensive line is in complete shambles right now… Also, I'm surprised none of our astute readers noticed that we had two weeks of picks both labeled as "Week 4".. Clearly, there was only week 4. So we apologize for any confusion. (Yes, we sometimes make mistakes.)

San Diego (2-3) at Kansas City (1-5) +4.5
San Diego hasn’t been nearly as good as I thought they would be, and at least for last week, KC wasn’t as bad. Well, anyone can look halfway decent against the Redskins. Despite this recent trend I’m going to stay with my gut and pick the Chargers. I think they’re ready for a win, and KC are patsies enough for the Chargers to have it easy. San Diego 24 Kansas City 17

The Chargers have been pretty horrible. The Chiefs have stuck around against almost every opponent. I’m taking the points in KC. Chargers 27, Chiefs 24.

Minnesota (6-0) at Pittsburgh (4-2) -4.5
Minnesota has gotten lucky twice now. I watched the end of the Ravens game and if it weren’t for their kicker totally sucking, they would have won. The Vikings take it on the road against a Pittsburgh team that’s been putting up around 500 yards a game in offense. Couple that with Ms. Clairol having a game under his belt and Pittsburgh coasts. Steelers 30 Vikings 20

Who the hell is Ms. Clairol? Okay, not many go over my head on this highly intellectual website, but that one got me… I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop against the Vikes, and it hasn’t happened. I hate both these teams. Do I really have to pick one? Ah hah! It's time for the unprecedented SBS prediction - a tie! Stealers 29, Vikes 29.

Green Bay (3-2) at Cleveland (1-5) +7.5
Last week’s game against Detroit was an enigma: the Packers had 14 on the board by the 6 minute mark, and then it was 4 field goals the rest of the afternoon. Against 3 second string D linemen, the Pack gave up 5 sacks. 7 penalties were committed including 4 by Chad Clifton. The running game has gotten so bad that the Pack signed Ahman Green to a one year deal. Mark Tauscher is still not ready to play and Green is at least a week out. On a positive note, Nick Barnett is playing like a man possessed, while Atari Bigby laid what Dan Glarus called “an epic hit” on some unsuspecting Lions receiver. BTW, kudos to Dan who chose a local Wisconsin beer as his SBS name to honor his home state. Despite my reservations about the team and its moronic looking head coach (Mike “we’re going to get that cleaned up” McCarthy) I’ll take the Packers and give the points. Besides, there’s been an outbreak of swine flu on the Browns. No, seriously. Packers 34 Browns17

Swine flu outbreak for the Browns? Yikes. WTF is that team's facility like, a Civil War era infirmary? I mean, remember how many people got staph infection on that team? In fact, I think good ol' Joe Jurivicius was attempting to sue the team for their neglect once he got it. Not sure where that case went. They probably settled under the table. As if the Browns don't have enough problems... Packers 27, Browns 10.

New England (4-2) vs Tampa Bay (0-6) +14.5
Once again I’m a bit fearful about pulling the trigger on this one. That’s a lot of points to give, but really, after what the Patriots did to Tennessee last week I’m not sure how I can pass this one up. That was almost unconscionable. Besides, Tampa Bay is pretty awful. Even though the Bucs are home and even though they are getting double digit points, I’ll still take New England. Fantasy players: this is the week to start Lawrence Maroney who should see ample playing time against the Bucs. New England 37 Tampa Bay 10

There's several big spreads this week... It's weird really. Whatever happened to parity? The Bucs are pretty bad, and it looks like the Brady-Moss magic may be back. That spells trouble for the rest of the league. I'm still not entirely sure what to make of the Pats defense, but it shouldn't matter against this offense. Patriots 34, Bucs 16.

San Francisco (3-2) at Houston (3-3) -3.5
Houston giving 3.5 to the Nooners? OK, I’ll go with “the odds makers are factoring in home field advantage”. Well, that and UVA great Matt Schaub has looked pretty good the last few weeks. I’m leaning towards the Nooners for several reasons. First, they’re coming off a bye so they’re rested. Second, Frank Gore is back, playing his first game since getting injured against the Vikings. Third, I anticipate the Texans will have a bit of a letdown after beating the scrappy Bengals. San Fran wins a close one: Nooners 28 Texans 27

You know, I like what the Texans have done lately on offense. I have Matt Schaub on my fantasy team and he's quietly #1 in TDs and #2 yards. Yes, really. I'm pretty sure the Niners are somewhat overrated, especially with that QB who's never asked to actually win a game for them. What the hell is his name again, Shaun Hill? The NFC West being so bad is the one reason I'm still slightly optimistic about the Seahawks season. I'll take Houston by a field goal, so not quite covering. Texans 27, Niners 24.

Indianapolis (5-0) at St. Louis (0-6) +13.5
The Colt machine keeps on rolling as they face the pathetic St. Louis Rams. This one is a no brainer: the Colts are used to playing in loud indoor stadiums and will absolutely feast on St. Louis. Coming off their bye they will be rested and poised. Oh, and without doing the math, it looks like their margin of victory over their last three games was about 18. Colts 34 Rams 10

Another huge spread. Poor Vegas can't make these spreads high enoguh. I wonder what the highest spread ever has been for an NFL game. Because we could break it this season. Colts 31, Rams 13.

Buffalo (2-4) at Carolina (2-3) -7.5
The Bills won a game last week, right? Oh yeah, against the Jets. So did Carolina, who had Tampa Bay giving them fits all afternoon. This is one of those games where I’m sitting here in my hotel wondering why on earth do I have to even think about this??? I’m leaning towards the Bills, who are getting a TD. I think they’ll keep the Cats honest. Panthers 20 Bills 17

The Panthers have cost me two games by half a point in my pick 'em pool. (Where I'm still in first place by a slim one-game margin by the way.) I don't trust them any more. Jake Delhomme would have been benched weeks ago if they had a backup that wasn't CFL material. They can't even get their running game going. I don't trust the Bills at all (where the hell has TO been?), but I trust the Panthers less. Bills 23, Panthers 21.

NY Jets (3-3) at Oakland (2-4) +6.5
How quickly things have come apart for the Jets. It took 4 weeks but teams figured out they can run on Rex Ryan’s D, and run they have. I have a feeling now that the District Attorney announced that no charges would be filed against Oakland head coach Tom Cable, the big idiot might actually coach a smart game. Lots of running for the Raiders, who keep it close enough to at least cover: Jets 23 Raiders 20

I'm not letting last week's win fool me - the Raiders still blow. Although I'm less convinced that Dirty Sanchez doesn't blow. I think he threw another pick to the Bills! The whole crazyness with Cable breaking his assistant's jaw is pretty entertaining. As much as I'd like to see the Raiders become competitive again, that team is a disaster. Jets 26, Raiders 17.

Chicago (3-2) at Cincinnati (4-2) -1.5
Big test for Da Bears who just signed Jay Cutler to a two year extension. I read where another Bears linebacker went down, but I think the Bears have enough to win. The Bengals came down to earth a bit last week and I think, like water, they will find their own level. That point spread is real tight, but I’m going with the Bears and hoping to be wrong: Bears 24 Bengals 20

Letdown game for the Bengals. They're due for a bad one. The strange thing this season has been the Cinci defense has actually looked pretty good. I think Cutler and Forte can carve them up a bit by mixing up the run and pass. Bears 23, Bengals 20.

New Orleans (5-0) at Miami (2-3) +6.5
Here’s one of those games where Miami tries to control the ball and succeeds, only to have Drew Brees throw four TDs in 17 minutes of possession. As St. Ides likes to say, I’ll keep riding the Saints until they prove me wrong. BTW, they put up 48 points against a pretty solid D last week… Saints 38 Dolphins 20.

Exactly, I'm taking the Saints until they lose and fail to cover. Hell, even then, I might keep taking them. They seem like as sure a thing as you're going to get in the NFL these days. That spread worries me though. With all these double-digit spreads, why is this one less than a touchdown? It's like Vegas is begging everyone to take the Saints. Which means they really think the Dolphins will win. Who knows, maybe that wild cat nonsense will cause trouble for the still non-dominant Saints D? I'm very tempted to take Miami and the points at home... But I just can't go against Bress right now. Can't do it. Saints 41, Dolphons 34.

Atlanta (4-1) at Dallas (3-2) -3.5
I tempted to take the cowpokes at home, but I really like Atlanta. I’m surprised this line isn’t closer. The Falcons beat a solid Bears squad last week, and no one is going to tell me that the Cowboys are better than the Bears. Even at home in their fancy new stadium. I’m going with Atlanta: Falcons 34 Cowboys 31

Agree totally. I like the Falcons, though they do have flaws. Their sole loss is in New England right as the Pats seemed to find their mojo again. And I think America is starting to realize what I've been saying for years now - Tony Romo just isn't all that great. Falcons 27, Cowboys 20.

Arizona (3-2) at NY Giants (5-1) -7.5
No knock against the Giants, but last week the Saints pretty much established who the best team in the NFC is. The Giants look to bounce back against Arizona who has surprisingly (at least to Ol’ Samichlaus) won 3 games. I like the Giants at home to win and dominate. There’s no way Kurt Warner puts on another show like he did against the Seahawks last week. Warner was lights out. Still, take the Giants who win by at least 10. Giants 30 Cardinals 20.

Yeah, the Giants will want some revenge after the thrashing by the Saints last week. And there's no way they let that happen against a crappy NFC West team at home, defending NFC champs or not. Plus, this game could be going opposite Yankees-Angels game 7 (or 6 if they get rained out on Saturday, like they're predicting) which means the crowd might be slightly empty or distracted or filled with non-Giants fans. Kurt Warner's magic has to run out one of these weeks, doesn't it? And the kind of pressure the Giants put on a QB seems like the likely formula to make that happen. Giants 24, Cardinals 13.

Philadelphia (3-2) at Washington (2-4) +7.5
The Eagles could learn a thing or two from the Phillies. The performance they put on against Oakland (Oakland!) was an abomination in the eyes of the Lord (I refer you, dear reader to the book of Leviticus). I wonder if Andy Reed is losing the team? Kudos to the Raiders for spanking them, but greater shame to the Eagles for not being prepared. On the Redskins side, things have gone from bad to worse: management has brought in Sherman Lewis to call the plays for Jim Zorn. It was “strongly suggested” to Zorn that Lewis, who has been with the team for a whopping two weeks, be given the job as play caller. But instead of getting angry and kicking ass, Zorn reluctantly agreed. It took his old buddy Steve Largent to come to his rescue. Largent said something along the lines of “To bring a guy in to call the plays who two weeks ago was collecting ping pong balls at an old age home, he was literally picking up ping pong balls at an old age home, is a disgrace”. Yoiks and away. Eagles 30 Skins 20

Hahaha. Ahhh, a rare mention of my idol (and a big reason why I'm a Seahawks fan - that and their jerseys looked cool to an impressionable 5 year old), Steve Largent. The Redskins are a pretty big mess. There's already talk that Dan Snyder is targetting one of the "Big 3" coaches for next year - Mike Shanahan, Bill Cowher, or Mike Holmgren. I wouldn't mind seeing Holmgren land there, especially since the rumor mill currently thinks the Cowboys will also go after him. Holmgren coaching Dallas would be unbearable. Seems to me both those owners are too meddlesome for Holmgren's ego though. Of course, a big paycheck can often cause an ego to take a back seat.. But I digress... Yes, yhe Eagles losing to the Raiders was pretty horrible. And yes, the Skins are a mess right now. But I'm taking the points under the "close divisional rival game" rule of my inconsistent picking games method. Eagles 31, Skins 27.