Week 6 Picks

A little late, and I'm not going to put together the overall records so far right now, but here ya go! :P

Atlanta -4.5 over NEW ORLEANS
Let's just say the Saints performance in Green Bay didn't exactly make them favorites to make the Super Bowl. Duece MacAllister is now done for the season, and Joe Horn has leg issues. That puts it all in the hands of Aaron Brooks. Nuff said. Falcons 27, Saints 16.

I don't know what to make of the Saints. It's the tale of two teams: the tough team that fight you tooth and nail and the absolute garbage that polluted Green Bay last week. What happened to the Saints last week was almost laughable. You don't recover from that, especially against another good defense. Plus Vick and his herpes infested penis have been practicing. Vick's Herpes Infected Penis & Co. 38 Aints 10

Carolina +1.5 over DETROIT
Detroit still has some serious issues on offense. Carolina is still underachieving. Panthers 24, Lions 17.

I like the Cats too, but I think that Mariucci will have Detroit ready to play. Detroit can take control of the NFC North with a win, but I have to say: Carolina is the more desperate team. The rule of the more desperate team always trumps all others. Cats 27 Lions 24

Cinci -3.5 over TENNESSEE
So the Bengals lost a tough game on the road in prime time. Do they bounce back? I think so, but just barely. Bengals 31, Titans 27.

Boomer Esiason called Carson Palmer the best young quarterback in the NFL. I think that Tennessee is over rated, but considering the injury to Ben Rothelisberger I'm starting Steve McNair on my fantasy team. I like St. Ides take, and I'm not going to disagree just for the sake of disagreeing, but I do think that Cinci covers. Cinci wins, 34 -24

Cleveland +5.5 over BALTIMORE
Suddenly, the Baltimore defense doesn't look as intimidating or dominant. And the offense led by Anthony "How Am I Starting In The NFL?" Wright has redefined the word "scary". Meanwhile, the Browns and Trent Dilfer have surprised some people by staying in games. WR phenom (and Michigan grad) Braylon Edwards is out with a weird elbow staph infection, but they should be okay without him. Browns 17, Ravens 13.

This is another one of those games where the spread makes no sense to me. Sort of like that Jets game last week (and I wasn't exactly right about that one), I really don't get the spread. I like Cleveland to win outright but since I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about I'll say Baltimore 17, Cleveland 14

PITTSBURGH - 1.5 over Jacksonville
Jacksonville's offense is still way too erratic. So is their defense for that matter. Although Big Ben is still questionable for this game, it looks like Tommy Maddox has recovered enough to start. He should be good enough to win. Of course, if Maddox can't play either, that puts the game in the hands of Charlie "How Do I Even Have A 3rd String Job In The NFL" Batch. Then all bets are off. Steelers 24, Jaguars 17.

I see a low scoring game with a lot of running, but I do see Pittsburgh winning easily. Again, I don't get the close spread...
Pittsburgh 20 - Jacksonville 15

TAMPA BAY -4.5 over Miami
Embarassing display by the Bucs against the Jets last week. Just awful. I think Gruden gets them pumped up enough for this inter-state rivalry to give Gus Frerotte fits. Bucanneers 20, Dolphins 10.

OK, here's one where we disagree. I'm totally sold on Nick Saban. I don't know when it happened but I've realized something. This years Dolphins remind of the 1992 Packers (Holmgren's first year), and I see an upset looming.
Miami wins 27 - 10 in the Samichlaus Shocker of the week.

Minnesota +3.5 over CHICAGO
Where to start…. I'll save the whole "sex cruise" story for another time, but I think it's safe to say it's been a distraction this week. Which means everybody is picking the Vikings to lose in Chicago. Which is really the only reason I'm picking them. Because everybody is going to take the Bears. If Daunte Culpepper can just hold onto the fricking ball, this could still be a potent offense. I'll take the Bears too, but not to cover. Bears 21, Vikings 20.

The Vikings are reeling and the Bears know how to play defense. The Vikings are falling apart and are ripe for the picking. Plus, oral sex weakens the legs. So does anal. One time I took it up the ass and couldn't walk right for a week.
The Bears still suck, but will score 2 TD's on defense. Bears 27 - Viqueens 13 ...and look for Mike Tice to lose his job on Monday.

Giants +3.5 over DALLAS
Everybody is talking about how the Cowboys beat the crap out of Philly last week. And how this could turn around their whole season. Uhm, news flash: Philly really isn't THAT good. They have NO running game, and their QB is banged up. This should be a shootout though, but I think Dallas still sucks, and it's only a matter of time that Drew Bledsoe crashes back to earth. Would you believe that Bledsoe is the #1 QB as far as Fantasy Football scoring goes? Neither would I. But it's true. Giants 33, Cowboys 27.

This is one of the best matchups of the week. I like both these teams but I'm giving the edge to the Cowboys. Here's why: last week when the Cowboys were up, I thing, 17 - 3 they faced 4th and 2 from the 12. Rather than kick the field goal, Parcells went for it and the Cowboys scored a TD. That SBS fans took balls, and that SBS fans was the turning point for the Cowboys.
Cowboys 31 Giants 20

Washington +5.5 over KANSAS CITY
Last week, I said the Skins would lose in Denver, but keep it close. They did. I'm going to say the same thing this week. I don't know who that is in the Mark Brunell costume, but he's actually playing pretty well. Chiefs 24, Redskins 20.

It's none other than Sonny Jurgenson. The Chiefs are so freaking tough at home, and the Skins really don;t match up well against them. The Skins come back to reality. I'm taking K.C. to cover. Chiefs 35 Redskins 20

New Englad +3.5 over DENVER
Tough, tough schedule for the Pats. They're beat up. Still, I'll take the Pats D confusing the hell out of Jake "Somehow I Haven't Blown A Game Yet This Seaon" Plummer, and Brady willing his team to win. Patriots 26, Broncos 24.

New England's dynasty days are over. They're beat up, the defense is faltering and Denver is tough at home. And yet, I can not pick against them. Call me a fool, but I think they win it outright as well. New England 20 Denver 15

BUFFALO -3.5 over Jets
I like the Kelly Holcomb Era in Buffalo so far. And the Vinny Era probably comes back to reality this week. Bills 20, Jets 13.

I don't know what to say. Do I owe Jets fans an apology? The Jets showed me something last week and 'ol Samichlaus knows when to man up and admit he was wrong. With that said, the Bills at home will win by 10. Bills 25 Jets 15

San Diego -2.5 over OAKLAND
The Chargers hung in there against the Steelers on Monday night, but couldn't get it done. The Raiders are nowhere near the class of the Steelers. And although it's in Oakland, and this is a divisional game, I think the Chargers win easily behind LT. Chargers 31, Raiders 23.

Here's what I see happening... it's a close game. LT has rushed for about 170, but Randy Moss has been his equal. Oakland gets the ball down 5 with 1:30 to go. Collins drives them down field and throws a last minute TD to Moss to pull out a victory.
Oakland 37 San Diego 35

SEATTLE -9.5 over Houston
Here's what I wrote after the Seahawks beat Arizona in Week 3:
"The Seahawks did what they should do if they want to win the division - handily beat a mediocre team at home. With the well-balanced offense clicking, the receivers' dropping woes seemingly a thing of the past, and an improving young defense, it will be interesting to see how they handle the upcoming two big road games at Washington and St. Louis."

Well, they went 1-1 on the road there, and were about 6 inches from 2-0. I like what I see. Although this has the makings of a "trap game", I just don't see it happening as bad as Houston is. Seattle 34, Houston 13.

I would so totally do David Carr. Well, not really. Seattle has a big game at home somewhere in their future. I think this is the week.
Seattle wins easily: Seattle 31 Pretty Boy 12.

St. Louis +13.5 over INDY
Mike Martz won't be there due to health issues with an infection in his heart. Which means the Rams probably won't make any bone-headed moves to totally blow this game. Two touchdowns is a hell of a lot to give a team with an offense as explosive as the Rams. We're about to find out just how "for real" the Colts defense is. Colts 31, Rams 28.

St. Ides has it right. I see Indy winning but by a lot less than 13.5. They've been super hot lately and I think this week is their let down.
Indy 27 St.Louis 24