Hello SBS fans and welcome to our weekly picks! It’s your ol’ pal Samichlaus here. St. Ides has been under the weather this week so I have the honors of posting the picks. I’ve tried my best to figure out the color scheme and I hope it posts in the right colors. Remember, St. Ides’s picks are in Seahawk blue, my picks are in wounded Packer Green...
Hey man, I've been sick the past 3 days, so haven't been at work, and therefore haven't done my picks yet. Since I've slept like a ridiculous amount the past couple days and I'm up early to let my job know I'll be "working" from home today, here they are:
Hey dude, sorry you're feeling under the weather, but working from home ain't such a bad thing... especially when one has the NFL network!
Here's what I'll do, I can do my picks on the train home tonight and I'll post them for us. Do you have last weeks stats?
Let me know, and hope you feel better...
I can whip up last week's stats easily enough....
St. Ides:
Last Week: 8-6
Season: 42-59
Samichlaus:
Last Week: 7-7
Season: 53-48
Chiefs +6.5 over CHARGERS
The Chargers are suddenly getting a reputation for not closing out games, and that loss last week to Philly on the blocked FG return was awful. Just as last year everything kind of went their way as they went 12-4, this year seems to be the opposite. Meanwhile, this is a huge game for the Chiefs. They don't typically play well on the road, but they ought to be up for this divisional battle and their offense should keep it close. Chargers 26, Chiefs 24.
With an extra few days of rest under their belts and their first win in Miami in a loooonnggg time, the Chiefs are poised to win on the road. The Chargers meanwhile haven’t exactly played up to their potential lately. I like the Chiefs to win:
Chiefs 31 Bolts 24
Cardinals +9 over DALLAS
The loss last week to Seattle has got to be killing Parcells. It may also be the end of the resurgence displayed by Drew Bledsoe. The Dallas defense is pretty damn good, could even be scary good in a few years. But their offense isn't really that impressive, and their offensive line is hurting. Seattle got like 6 sacks last week, and they're not exactly known for pressuring the QB. I think Arizona keeps this one close, though they've got their own offensive woes. Low-scoring game. Cowboys 17, Cardinals 10.
Interesting analysis… here’s my take: Arizona is about ready for their yearly swan dive. You bet Dallas is pissed after last week’s game, and if you think they’re not going to be totally fired up at home you’re wrong. Dallas wins this easy.
Dallas 27 Cardinals 10
Bears +3 over LIONS
Tough call here. As predicted (and it really wasn't that hard to predict), Jeff Garcia led the Lions to victory last week when he replaced Joey Harrington as the starter. However, the Lions receiving corps is decimated by injuries, and that one guy is still suspended for smoking reefer. I think the Bears defense and running game is just good enough to win this game on the road. Barely. Bears 17, Lions 10.
Don’t tell me that it wasn’t that hard to predict! I was so busy making gay jokes last week that I totally blew the prediction. So no more homosexual references this week about Jeff Gaysia. This next part is really hard for me to write: the Bears are the cream of the NFC North. Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket, it’s come to this. You have to admit, they play pretty good defense.
Bears 24 Lions 17
TEXANS -2 over Browns
The Texans have to win sometime this season, right? Uhhhh, right? They actually hung in there with the Colts for the first 3 quarters last week. Then they reverted to old form, and didn't cover the 13 points they were getting. Ugh. But it seems they figured out how to stop David Carr from getting sacked - don't throw the ball. They threw some ridiculous amount like 9 times all of last game. If they're going to win a game, why not this week, home against the Browns? Texans 20, Browns 16.
That boy is just too pretty, and frankly speaking the Texans really do not have any talent to speak of. The Browns, well I have to be honest SBS fans, I really can’t remember anything about the Browns. My brain is so fucking fried. I’m somewhere near Fredericksburg (judging by the clock) and the train is actually on time. This means I’ll be home at oh, 8:30. Holy fucknuts.
Browns 24 Carr-k suckers 15
Packers +9 over BENGALS
I'll leave most of the Packers and Favre commentary to Mr. Samichlaus, but Cinci was brought back to reality last week by the Steelers, who just ran the ball down their throat. I doubt the Packers decimated offense will be able to do the same, but if Favre likes those shootouts where he can throw and throw and throw and have a chance to pull it out in the end, this might be one of those games. Too many points to give Favre against a largely unproven young team. Bengals 26, Packers 20.
I think St. Ides pretty much hit the nail on the head. For what it’s worth, Favre has come out this week and essentially taken the blame for the season. His rational is that the Packers have lost 4 game by a total of 9 points, and that he as a playmaker should have figured out a way to win. No man is an island Brett, especially with the likes of Jevon Kearse coming after you. When you’re out there, I want you to remember something, something you may not know: Boomer Esiason called Carson Palmer the best young quarterback in the league. I want you to honestly watch him and tell me if he’s better than you. Here’s a hint: He ain’t.
Bengals 31 Packers 27
Jaguars +3.5 over RAMS
I don't think Bulger is back yet. Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt are still hurt. It took the Rams a little bit of luck, a patented Aaron Brooks choke, and a bad call by the refs to beat the Saints last week at home. Not to mention all the drama between Mike Martz and the front office. The Jaguars are tough to figure out, but they seem like a fairly well-rounded team. Hopefully they help Seattle solidify their hold on the NFC West even during their bye week. Jaguars 28, Rams 24.
With Martz out of the picture there’s a part of me that wants to pick “team turmoil” to win. But here’s what’s stopping me: that’s Martz’s hand picked coaching staff out there. The Rams are a train wreck in progress… shit, that’s a lousy metaphor right about now.
Just pulling into Fredericksburg…
Jaguars 34 Rams 17
SAINTS -2 over Dolphins
I think the Dolphins have come back to earth a bit after their overachieving start. I think the maddeningly inconsistent Saints are due for a good game. Saints 20, Dolphins 17.
Since their disaster in Green Bay the Saints have played pretty well. Miami on the other hand has been a disappointment, well at least to my father in law. I see it the other way: The Saints are due for another Superdome pile o dung performance. Could the metaphors get any worse?
Miami 37 – New Orleans 10
Vikings +8 over PANTHERS
Vikings pulled out the gutsy win last week to likely save Mike Tice's job... for another week at least.. The Panthers have been a bit up and down all season, and I think this spread reflects their popularity as a pre-season favorite in the NFC rather than their actual play. They probably win it at home, but I'll take a Culpepper who suddenly doesn't look so lost any more, and the points. Panthers 24, Vikings 19.
Don’t let the second half of that game last week fool you. That was less about what Culpepper and Co. did right and more about what the Packer defense did wrong. Carolina is a solid team with a good head coach. Unlike the Packers, the Cats will play 60 minutes of football and never let the Vikings in the game.
Carolina 34 Viqueens 10
TITANS -1.5 over Raiders
No clue in this game. The Raiders surprised people last week by spanking the Bills. I think McNair is still hurt, so Billy Volek keeps starting for the Titans. Whatever, this may be the crappiest game of the week. Titans 30, Raiders 28.
Shit Dude, I don’t know anything about these teams either. You’re right about Mc.Nair, I do know that. Hmm… OK, which team has Randy Moss? Got it.
Raiders 27 Titans 24
GIANTS -2 over Redskins
I think Eli showed everybody something last week with that win. And I think Mark Brunell is about due to come crashing to earth. This should be a pretty close game, as both offense-defense match ups are interesting. Giants 24, Redskins 20.
I’ve gotta say, I think we watched Eli grow up a bit last week. When he made that pass and the Giants won, I really had the feeling that I’d seen a rite of passage. I’ll be rooting for the Giants this week, but I think the Skins win. The Achilles heel for the Giants defense is their passing D. It’s one of the worst in the league. With the Redskins having to rely less on the “max protect” formation, Brunell will have a field day.
Skins 31 Giants 17
Eagles +3.5 over BRONCOS
Broncos suffered that crushing loss to Eli and crew, but at least it was on the road. Now they return home to face another NFC East team, and the team that it seems most "experts" still like as the NFC favorite. I have no clue what's going to happen. But I think the Eagles might be a little more for real than the Broncos. I think. Eagles 27, Broncos 24.
Weekly readers of this feature know by now that I have no fucking clue what to make of the Eagles. I’m sticking with my gut: they aren’t the cream of the NFC anymore. Denver at home is always a good bet. But can they cover? Sure, why not.
Denver 27 Eagles 21
Bucanneers -11 over NINERS
Yikes. The Niners threw Alex Smith to the wolves, and now he's hurt. They traded away second stringer Tim Rattay to the Bucs, and now they're left with Ken Dorsey. They got absolutely smoked by the "high-powered" Redskins offense last week. Needless to say, I won't be taking the Niners anytime soon. Bucs 33, Niners 17.
Ken Dorsey? Double yikes.
Bucs 41 – Niners 6
Bills +9 over PATRIOTS
I have no idea what to think of the Bills. Kelly Holcomb gets named starter, and suddenly they look like they could be a playoff team. Then they get lit up by the Raiders, and suddenly their defense (their alleged strength) seems suspect. Teddy Brusci might be back for this game, and that would be a huge lift for the Pats. I think they win this game fairly easily, but almost 10 points is a lot to give a divisional rival. Patriots 27, Bills 20.
I can’t begin to imagine what Foxboro is going to be like if Brusci returns. Think of Colorado and Todd Bertuzzi the other night, except like the opposite. Think Willis Reed on the court in 1970 (yep, ol’ Samichlaus remembers watching it on TV, kids) only multiplied by a factor of 6. The point is New England is going to be so fired up that they will absolutely crush Buffalo this week. Enjoy it, because this is when New England turns the corner and starts to dominate. Unless of course Teddy strokes out again.
New England 37 – Buffalo 17
STEELERS -9.5 over Ravens
The Steelers showed the AFC North who's the boss last week by going into Cinci and sending them back to reality. The Ravens just stink. Their QB sucks, Jamal Lewis is feeling the effects of spending a few months in jail (seriously), and both Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are out for their defense. This is another example of why the league should consider a dynamic schedule for Monday Night Football. This game hasn't looked attractive for weeks, and would any team really complain if they got only 2-3 week notice that they'd be playing on Monday night? Steelers 30, Ravens 10.
I guess the truth is Baltimore isn’t as good as I thought. Still, 9.5 is a lot to cover against a good defense. I read somewhere that the Steelers will run Bettis more this week and that this one is going to play like a smash-mouth low scoring affair. I’ll take the Ravens and the points:
Steelers 20 Ravens 13
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