Well, the Patriots won. It was a pretty damn good game. Everybody is throwing around the "D" word like it's going out of style, and its time for a Monday morning entry recapping the game and stuff. I kept a very lackadaisical (yes, I had to look up the spelling of that word) running diary. Basically, I was watching the game on the big TV in the living room, and during extended timeouts and injuries and stuff, I'd run into the computer room and type down some thoughts. I suppose I could have just used a pen and paper, but who the hell uses that any more? On with the show...
I knew the pre-game shows were going to suck and be unbearable, so basically I just had them on in the background while I was doing other stuff. Of course my thoughts immediately were proven true as soon as I turn on ESPN. Chris Rock is sitting there with the ESPN crew, and I guess they asked him for his prediction. He makes some comment about Donovan McNabb, and "Passenger 57", which immediately sends Michael Irvin into gut-wrenching fits of laughter, and initiates a complex 5-part handshake/high five between Rock and Irvin. I mean it's one thing for Irvin to make a fool of himself like this every time, but to drag respectable celebrities into it with him.. well, it was painful to watch. (I'm guessing this is a movie Chris Rock was in... hang on, time for some IMDB... oh, now this is interesting.. Chris Rock isn't in it, but Wesley Snipes is.. and apparently this is the movie where Snipes makes the comment "Always bet on black." So, basically, Rock was saying he was going with McNabb because he was black. That seems a little racist to me, no? I wonder if we'll read anything else about this anywhere today? I wonder if Irvin really "got it", or if he was just doing the knee-slapping because that's what he always does... But this actually has me a bit annoyed right now that Rock tried to slip this little racist comment by everybody...)
I'm not going to analyze every predictable and boring story they did, cause this thing would be a novel (and I do have to start working at some point today). There was one about Reggie White though, and how he embraced Judaism before he died, learning Hebrew, taking trips to Israel, etc etc. Seemed a bit out of place, but the female reporter kept talking about how White wanted to "get his message out" before he died. Weird stuff.
Probably my favorite pre-game moment was when they had Jillian Barbieri introduce American Idol judge Randy Jackson who then introduced American Idol pop star product Kelly Clarkson. Not only was it a retarded introduction for an introduction. But Jillian's introduction went something like this:
"And now, I'm happy to introduce the cool judge, the nice judge, my favorite judge! I've known him for a long time and even slept with him twice since he's so hot now that he lost all that weight! Here he is... Randy Johnson!"
Okay, I made part of that up, but not the last part. She called him Randy Johnson. He came out, and I tried to tell if he noticed or was rattled by the total fuck up, but she quickly gave him a hug and a kiss like they're old friends, and then she started blabbering about how much she loves the show. Funny stuff.
Is it just me, or does anybody else want to absolutely abolish Terry Bradshaw from appearing on TV ever again? Between his stupid sing-along with Paul McCartney (during which Terry was grabbing his arm, and putting his shoulder around him, and patting him on the back. Thankfully, he stopped short of pulling down Sir Paul's pants and giving him a hummer.), and again being a bit too touchy feely with former President Bush, he must be stopped. I mean, don't the networks realize that everybody HATES these pre-game shows? Not because of the lame predictable stories, or stupid cartoon graphics, but because of the people. God, they're the fucking worst.
Okay, enough pre-game doodoo, on to the game:
6:35pm EST: After announcing all eleventeen captains on each time, a few peewee league coaches, and some youth football players themselves, we're ready for the coin toss! They let one of the kids flip the coin. The kid lays it flat in his hand, makes an upward motion with his arm, and sends the coin into the air only about a foot over his 3-foot frame. There's absolutely no rotation on the coin at all. None. It doesn't flip once. Tim Wakefield would be impressed. The coin lands with exactly the same side up as was in the kid’s hand. I cringe for the kid as you can hear one of the players say, "Oh, that's a bad toss!" Then I think to myself, you know, they could have had this kid practice this. I mean, it's only the fucking Super Bowl! He's not THAT young that someone can't spend like 10 minutes with him showing him how to actually make the coin flip in the air. Yes, I am that annoyed at this right now.
6:46pm: Good challenge by Andy Reid. McNabb escapes a sack then fumbles the ball. Pats recover. Eagles challenge though, and McNabb's knee was down during the sack escape attempt. Good challenge, good call. Eagles still have to punt, but they dodge the turnover deep in their own territory.
6:50pm: Nice long pass with Brady almost connects with Patten in double coverage. Good sign that Brady's accuracy is on tonight. The ball was there. People keep saying how 3 of the 4 DBs for Philly are going to the Pro Bowl. Just being named to the Pro Bowl doesn't win Championships, they better play like it tonight.
6:53pm: Second three and out for Philly. Both defenses look good so far. Field position and the punting game could be key to this game. Of course, that's like saying whoever scores more points will win the game.
7:19pm: Gay gets his hands on the ball. Gay knocks the ball loose. Gay pokes it out. Gay strips him. (We could come up with homoerotic ways of describing this play all day. I'll stop there before I get carried away.)
8:00pm: Philly scored first, but here comes New England down the field. Givens touchdown, giving him touchdown catches in his last 5 playoff games. That's pretty impressive. What's more impressive is his mock TO celebration dance. Haha!
Halftime: Tied 7-7. Pretty good first half. Both defenses look really good. New England has been called for quite a few penalties, which doesn't bode well. It sure doesn't look like they are going to cover the 7 point spread. I flip around the channels looking for one of those shows they put on during halftime, like a Beavis and Butthead skit or a Celebrity Deathmatch special or the Lingerie Bowl. Well, I guess MTV gave up on those things, and the Lingerie Bowl is pay per view only, so I found myself back on Fox. Paul McCartney. At least I don't have to listen to Bradshaw and those dopes. Actually a decent performance, I didn't mind it so much.
One other comment....At this point, I've noticed Fox isn't really showing many shots of the crowd. I'm really curious to see the breakdown of Pats and Eagles fans, see how drunk they look, see if they're brawling yet. See the clever (and retarded) signs they come up with. Strangely, we're not getting ANY of these camera shots. Instead, we're treated to skyboxes of annoying famous people: Will Smith (born and raised in West Philly. Yes they said that like 239 times.), John Travolta, and President Clinton seemingly totally bored. Show the crowd, jerks! Nobody wants to see more celebrities!
8:48pm: Pats take the opening kickoff of the second half and march down the field, capped by a TD pass to linebacker Mike Vrabel from the 2. A billion flags fly on the play, and there's some discussion, but the play stands, 14-7 Pats. And just for a little added bonus, Vrabel does the mocking "wing flapping" celebration too. Okay, once is funny. Twice, it's borderline obnoxious. But I hate TO enough to not mind. Yet.
9:30pm: We're in the 4th quarter now. Pats up 21-14. Hell of a throw and catch from Brady to Deion Branch for 19 yards and a first down at mid-field! They show the replay about 5 times, and it was a pretty sweet play. They cut back to the field, and the ball is on the Philly 30. What the?!? Joe God Awful Buck informs us that oh-by-the-way, there was a roughing the passer penalty called on the end of the play. I don't think he even mentions the player the penalty was on. And we didn't get an instant replay. Now, think about this for a second: This is the fucking Super Bowl. Time is winding down. The Patriots are driving for what could be the score that seals their victory. You just had a HUGE 15-yard penalty to put them into field goal range. And you don't show a replay of the penalty? Not once? The Football Gods shall smite Fox for their incompetence. The drive results in a field goal, Pats up 24-14 with about 8 minutes left. Maybe they will cover...
That was my last official entry. The long TD pass the Pats gave up was a rare example of a bad defensive call. Maybe Romeo Crennel had a temporary lapse when he realized that Jeff Garcia would be his QB next season. If it was any team other than the Patriots, that would have been a big "uh oh" moment. But Philly did an awful, just AWFUL job in the final 5 minutes of managing the clock. Even the announcers commented on it, one of the retards... errr, I mean commentators saying "maybe they're just exhausted" to which one of the others said, "you can't be exhausted, it's the Super Bowl!" I mean, it really looked like they were just happy to have kept it close at this point. Going to the huddle, taking almost the whole play clock.. Ye Gods. At one point I was hoping they'd come down and tie it, to send it to OT. Then the Pats win the coin toss (hopefully, they wouldn't bring that knuckleballer kid back for the OT toss), take the ball, and score. And the NFL re-designs their OT system in the offseason. But it didn't happen. McNabb was his usual turnover prone self, and the Patriots are dubbed a dynasty.
Just a couple more quick comments:
* Why in the name of God is Terry Bradshaw presenting the Lombardi Trophy? This would be the equivalent of Adam Sandler presenting the Oscar for Best Actor. I mean, okay, maybe Bradshaw did have an impressive career as a player. But, in my book, he's a joke now. A walking, talking, sad excuse for a sportscaster. Maybe that's a bit harsh, but fuck it. If harsh words are needed to get the networks to change their awful pre-game crews, then so be it. (And we all know the network big wigs are reading this right now, right?)
* I suppose they could have given Brady the MVP, but they went with Branch. He deserved it, no doubt. I was just a little surprised because everybody kisses Brady's ass so much.
* So, what's next? Can the Patriots keep it up? Do they have another run in them, minus their offensive and defensive coordinators? Is their success going to cause a backlash against them now? Have they now turned into the new Yankees that everybody loves to hate because they win so much? Plenty of time to answer those questions. But for now, congrats and enjoy it! I wonder how many people skipped work in Boston today...
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