Sports Guy Intern Contest

Okay, so there's this Bill Simmons guy who writes for ESPN.com known as "The Sports Guy". He does a pretty good job of writing about actual sports and mixing in a good dose of humor and pop culture references. Anyways, he's holding a contest to find a new intern, and it's open to the public. But it's not your typical coffee fetching, shoe polishing, ass kissing internship. The intern actually gets some space on the site to write stuff while posting things like daily links and reader emails. Well, I entered…

The finalists have been announced for the contest, and I'm not among them. I really didn't expect to me, but I held on to a little bit of hope. After reading and re-reading my entry a few times (which I'll spare posting here), I think I made two fatal flaws:

1) Expecting the "how I picked my favorite team that makes no sense geographically or practically" angle to be original.
2) Including two links in the actual entry (one to my band's site and another to this here blog site). Probably a bad idea cause they could be construed as a lame attempt to get a plug. Which really wasn't what I was going for. I just wanted to kinda provide additional material in case I was kind of a borderline decision. Like they're thinking "Well, this one is decent, but not sure it's quite good enough.. But let's see what he's written at these other sites he mentions.." and then they hit the BDF site, watch the "Meet Me At The Bar" video, and suddenly I'm not only a finalist, but the odds on favorite…

I'm not bitter. Really. Some of the finalist entries are really good. However… some of them aren't that good.

Two recurring themes popped out at me in the entries:
1) Females claiming to be really hot and also know a lot about sports.
2) Boston fans sharing stories about the Red Sox. (Simmons is a Boston guy and a huge Red Sox/Pats/Celtics fan.)

Let's break down the numbers…

7 of the 25 finalists are females… 28%. 4 of them outright describe themselves as hot. 2 others imply sexual favors. Here's the breakdown for those playing at home, by entry number:
#7: "The second (fantasy) is to ride around Daytona in a stock car with Dale Earnhardt Jr. at the wheel while, if I'm lucky (or drunk), having him rub my leg."

#10: "I am a versatile linguist with a pair of 36C's" and "As an aspiring model".. She also offers to send a photo if it helps her chances.

#13: "Now I am a hot chick with a journalism degree and no job." Gotta love the modesty.

#18: This one is fucking unbearable to read. She describes some mystery sexy/classy woman who walks into a sports bar and every guy is fantasizing about her, then she claims she is that woman. This one made me want to vomit.

#20: The only entry by a female that you can read and it doesn't mention anywhere that she's a woman. Bonus points for this one. However, those bonus points get lost because it's a frickin Red Sox story.

#21: "Are you kidding? I'm waiting to apply to be the Sports Mistress!" She also mentions how she's been a swimmer for 16 years…

#25: "I'm very attractive." Thanks for the news flash.

Without getting all "Women's Rights!" and shit, this seems a bit ridiculous. I'm not sure what annoys me more, the fact that all these women are arrogant enough and willing to try and use their looks to influence the judges, or the fact that it seems to be working! Not to mention the job is a faceless one where the intern sits behind a computer all day. You'd think it was a contest to become a Lakers girl or something judging by these entries.

So, the other bias seems to be the whole Boston fan thing. I guess I really can't blame him too much if Simmons gets all wrapped up in the Boston thing, but let's be fair. Some of these entries got through only because they are about the Red Sox. If they were identical stories written about the Marlins two years ago or (god forbid) the Yankees in 2000, would they have made the finals? I think not. The fix is in!

The numbers - Boston fans: 10 out of 25 entries, 40%. Almost half!
The entries: #4, #5, #10, #13, #15, #18, #20, #21, #22, #24.

#10, #13, #18, #20, and #21 are female AND Boston fans. So only two non-Boston females were chosen.. The plot thickens...

So, early odds… We'll breakdown the individuals when a few of them are eliminated, I don't feel like analyzing all 25 right now. :P

Boston fan: 3-1
Female: 7-1
Female Boston fan: 8-1
New Yorker: 200-1

Someone call Michael Moore, it's conspiracy theory time! Of course, it's his website, and I guess he can do whatever the hell he wants with it, so I have no point.