Call your bookie: the week 9 picks are posted...

OK kids, Samichlaus here. I've got the picks so here we go...


Falcons -2.5 over DOLPHINS
Vick is getting a lot of bad press for not being a very good passer. All I have to say is: About damn time! I've been saying that for awhile now. Still, the Falcons defense is pretty good. And the Dolphins still have Gus Frerotte at the helm. A lot of "experts" are picking the Dolphins to pull off the minor upset here. But, despite Vick's widely publicized "regression", he can still make plays with his legs. And Coach Mora seems to be a pretty good coach. Falcons 23, Dolphins 16.

I think St. Ides has it right. The thing that scares me is that Miami's defense is fast. That's the only way to stop Mr. Mexico. Well that and a herpes infested whore. Still, I'm going with Captian Penis
Falcons 27 Fins 17

Panthers -1.5 over BUCS
This may be the lock of the week. The Bucs just lost to the frickin 49ers, and QB Chris Simms played awful. The Panthers defense is a lot better than the Niners defense. Cadillac Williams is still hurting. Michael Pittman is banged up too. So basically their offense is non-existent. Meanwhile the Panthers are starting to play like a Super Bowl contender again. Panthers 20, Bucanneers 10.

I saw Chris Simms earlier this year on one of those "In their own words" specials. The show was about Jon Gruden, but Simms jumped out at me. I was amazed that the son of one of the smartest quarterbacks I've ever seen didn't seem very bright. He was easily flustered and could not remember the plays Gruden was calling. Unlike his father, he lacked command and presence in the huddle. When the show was over I concluded that he probably takes after his Mom.

Panthers 24 Bucs 13.


SAINTS +3.5 over Bears
The Saints are so inconsistent it's getting ridiculous. But the NFC North is destined to be a mess of teams that don't want to win the division all season. Saints 17, Bears 10.

God dammit. The Bears are actually becomming good again, and Mark my words, the Saints will not win another game this season. The Bears are conjuring images of the 1985 team that played great D and had just enough O. This team, though not nearly as good, is built in the same mold.

Bears 24 Saints 6

RAVENS +3.5 over Bengals
Did the Ravens find some life by keeping it close against the Steelers, despite Ray Lewis and Ed Reed both being out? Have the Bengals come back to earth a bit after the Steelers put them back in their place? I'm not sure about either of those, but it's a divisional game in Baltimore, and that ought to keep it close enough to take the Ravens. Bengals 23, Ravens 20.

The thing that struck me last week was that the Bengals scored 7 points off of 5 turnovers. I think the high powered offense of Carson Palmer & Co. takes a hit this week. And speaking of hits, the Packers put some huge hits on Chad Johnson last week. I think it's going to affect him. The Ravens pull the upset at home.
Ravens 23 Bengals 20 in the Samichlaus Shocker of the Week.

Lions -1.5 over VIKINGS
The Lions may revert to Joey Harrington after Jeff Garcia's awful game-losing interception last week in OT and his leg bothering him again. The Vikings have to be in worse shape though now that Culpepper is done for the year. Culpepper's injury may have actually saved Tice's job, since now everybody pretty much expects them to suck complete ass. Lions 20, Vikings 17.

As God as my witness, one of the headines after last weeks Detroit game was "Garcia comes up limp after loss". You can't make this stuff up. This is a tough game to pick because no one is going to win. The trick is to figure out who is going to lose, and here's where I take Mooch over Tice any day.
Lions 27 - Viqueens 10

Texans +13.5 over JAGUARS
Texans win their first game of the season. Jaguars lose to an injury-depleted Rams team. God, I hate these huge point spreads with the Texans and Niners every week. Jaguars 23, Texans 14.

Yep.
Jaguars 24 Texans 21

Raiders +5.5 over CHIEFS
I'm not sure what to make of the Raiders. I think Samichlaus made a good point when he said "Which team has Randy Moss?" in a previous prediction. And LaMont Jordan is starting to get it going on the ground. The Chiefs should win the game, but I don't think they're good enough to blow out the Raiders just yet. Chiefs 27, Raiders 23.

In case you're all not quite sure, ol' Samichlaus is no genius. Here's some insight into picking K.C. games: Much like Denver, I like 'em at home. That's a friggin noisy stadium and it tends to disrupt the opposition.
Cheifs 34 Raiders 24

Chargers -6.5 over JETS
Let's channel the "experts" for a moment and act like we know what we're talking about: "The Chargers are the best 4-4 team ever!" "They could easily be 6-2 right now if they'd closed out those close games!" Well, the fact is, they didn't close out those games. They're 4-4. And you can't call them that good at 4-4. Still, the Jets blow. If the Chargers don't win this game by at least 10 points, I don't want to hear any expert talk about how great they are. Chargers 24, Jets 9.

Don't ask me why because I couldn't tell you, but I think that the Jets are going to win this week. I'm taking the Jets and calling Bellvue.

Jets 27 Chargers 24


BROWNS -3.5 over Titans
Rookie WR and 3rd overall pick (and Michigan alum) Braylon Edwards earlier in the week suggested that maybe rookie QB Charlie Frye should get a shot at starting. Coach Roman Crennel promised to get him more involved in the offense, and promoted him from the #3 WR to a rotation at #2. But he also said it would still be Dilfer starting. Edwards seemed satisfied with that, and changed his tune to support Dilfer. All I'm gonna say is that if they throw at Braylon 10 times a game, he'll break at least one big play. Browns 26, Titans 20.

The truth is that the Titans are pretty awful. I like the analysis above, and I like the Browns at home.
Browns 27 Titans 17


NINERS +10.5 over Giants
How the hell did the Niners beat the Bucs? I have no frickin clue, I refused to watch that game. Still, this might be the sort of game that's a letdown for the Giants. After the emotional win in memory of their recently deceased owner, and a cross-country flight, they might need to be careful here. Giants 24, Niners 17.

I like the Giants to win as well, but I think they cover. The team is fired up and playing with purpose. The Niners are playng for pride, but pride is going to be able to defend Jeremy Shocky.
Giants 34 - Niners 13

Seahawks -4.5 over CARDINALS
Kurt Warner has been named the starter for this game. He hasn't started since Seattle knocked him out in week 3. WR Anquin Boldin is out for the Cardinals, meaning they can double-team Larry Fitzgerald. The Cardinals have an awful offensive line and no running game. If the Seahawks are for real (and I keep telling myself that they are), they win this game fairly easily, even in Arizona. Seahawks 31, Cardinals 17.

Here's the icing: Ray Rhodes is in the hospital. The Seahawks are going to play an emotional game, and may pitch a shut out.

Seahawks 31 - Cardinals 6

PACKERS +6.5 over Steelers
Big Ben is out. Enter Charlie Batch. I know the Packers are beat up, but they've kept a lot of their losses close this year. If they can't stay at least within a TD of the Charlie "Yes, Somehow I'm Still In The League" Batch led Steelers in Green Bay, maybe they really do need to start working on that draft board for next year. And isn't Ryan Longwell due for a game-winning kick about now? Packers 24, Steelers 23.

OK, I'm not just saying this but the Packers are going to win this game outright. Big Ben or not, the Steelers primary weapon is there running game, and the Packers D has been pretty good against the run. Bettis is out leaving Willie Parker and Duce Staley to pick up the slack. Meanwhile, Mike Sherman has committed to letting Brett Favre be Brett Favre. This one is going to be a lot of fun.
Packers 27 - Steelers 20 in the Samichlaus Shocker to everyone not named Samichlaus of the week.

REDSKINS -2.5 over Eagles
TO is out. McNabb might sit too. The Eagles have been notorious for not running the ball. The Redskins were embarassed by the Giants last week. This is one of those divisional rivalry games that I really don't give a crap about. Redskins 23, Eagles 17.

Not only is T.O. out, he's indefinitley suspended. I think this sends a statement to the Eagles who respond favorably.

Eagles 30 - Redskins 17

PATRIOTS +3.5 over Colts
The Monday Night game, and also the game of the week. Can Manning and company finally get the New England monkey off their back? Can the injury-riddled Patriots stay in Peyton's head and leave him shaking his head as he throws yet another interception against them? Will the Brusci-inspired defense step in up against the new Colts offense that isn't afraid to run the ball? No clue. But here's the big thing. Other than the psychological factor (and, don't get me wrong, that is a big factor), the Colts have very little pressure on them in this game. They have a relatively soft schedule, and at 7-1 will still be sitting pretty for home field throughout the AFC playoffs. The Patriots have a lot more to lose, and that could make the difference. And this will add another chapter to the question "Who would you rather have as your QB? Manning or Brady?" I'm going with Brady until Manning wins a Super Bowl. Patriots 30, Colts 27.

I'm convinced that the Bruschi thing last week was the turning point for the Pats. This week they have the opportunity to send a message to the league that any prior thoughts of vulnerability should be cast aside.
Patriots 31 - Colts 20.