Well, after the Patriots suffered a Seahawk-esque collapse Monday night and Seattle suffered a Seahawk-esque god awful loss at the hands of some questionable calls, I'm back with the Seahawks. Sorry to all you Pats fans out there for the temporary jinx I crippled your team with.
And speaking of the Jets.. I used to not mind the Jets so much, but between Herm Edwards and Chad Pennington now giving the media the cold shoulder cause they were rough on him the previous week, I think I'm starting to dislike them pretty strongly..
Time to count down which NFL teams I hate the most, and why...
6.) The Jets crack this list with Pennington's latest move and Herm just being a moron. The headline on the back of Tuesday's Post said "Just Whine, Baby"
5.) Whatever team Warren Sapp is on, so right now, this spot goes to the Raiders. Bonus points for Al Davis and their kooky fans, so when Sapp retires, they might hold onto this spot.
4.) Tampa Bay.. residual effect of Warren Sapp being there and being a loudmouth for so long, combined with the "Okay, give me a break with the scowl already" Jon Gruden. Throw in them losing whenever I pick them this year, and vice versa, and that scores some extra points.
3.) Dallas... throw in the Tuna (can you say "overrated"? I knew you could.) and the fact that there were a ton of jerks I went to school with who were on the early 90s Super Bowl bandwagon with this team, and you have a real unlikable team. Oh, and their owner is unlikable, and people still try and claim they're "America's Team" and we have a winner.
2.) St. Louis... this one gets this high on sheer Martz power alone. I really didn't dislike this team with Vermeil as the coach. Of course, Seattle was still in the AFC West at that time, so there was no divisional rivalry yet either. But jesus, he's a moron.
1.) Baltimore.. Let's see.. cocky coach who comes off like a jerk 95% of the time? Check. Player who was involved with a double homicide who got off because he's rich/famous? Check. Player who was involved in a drug deal who got off because he's rich/famous? Check. Loudmouth cocky bastards on defense who piss you off whenever you hear them "micced up" ? Check. Retarded dance moves used to celebrate plays even when your team is down by 20? Check. Last night they had that safety guy (Ed Reed I think his name is) "micced up", and he was just talking so much smack it was unbearable. I only watched the first half, and jesus, it made me cringe whenever they went to a clip of him. And there are the announcers saying how great it is that he's so intense and brings so much energy and stuff. Do they really believe that?
One more note on Monday night's game... I had Manning going for my fantasy team, and he needed 40 points for me to pull out a miraculous win. Even in his highest scoring game of the year where he threw SIX TDs, he was only worth 38 fantasy points. At halftime he had 3. I went to bed. Thank you Drew Fucking Bennett for bringing my fantasy season to a crashing and disappointing end. Drew Fucking Bennett. Un-fucking-believable.
Well, I was just trying to post a reply and I must have hit some magic combination of keys because my post disappeared. Christ.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good post too, so I'm going to try to recapture the magic and hopefully not the kestrokes that went along with it....
I don't know what teams I hate anymore, except the Yankees but they don't play football. It used to be easy. I hated the Cowboys. I hated their Texas asshole fans and I hated the whole America's Team bullshit, and yes I hated their cheerleaders. I mean, all my life I've fought against the exploitation of women and along comes America's Team who can't wait to exploit a whole gaggle of 'em who don't seem to mind being exploited.
...but now the Cowboys are harmless, and their head coach is one of my favorites. Even if he thinks that calling sneaky plays "Jap" plays shouldn't be offensive to "Orientals".
I used to hate the 49ers. They were better than the Packers. They had Jerry Rice. Their quarterback was a Mormon, and Mormons creep me out.
...but then the Packers got Mike Holmgren and suddenly we knew how to beat the 49ers. Today, they are the bottom feeders of the NFL.
I used to hate the Raiders. Well, not so much the Raiders but their fans. Raider fans were considered to be worse than Philly fans, and were know for their insensitive brutalizing of opposing players.
...but then came that Monday night, the night adfter the death of Irvin Favre, and when Brett was announced to the crowd, the Raider Fans gave him a standing Ovation. I'll never forget it.
Packer fans are supposed to hate the Bears. Sorry, I don't. It has to do with growing up in New York and not Wisconsin, but Chicago is a harmless place unless Michael Jordan is playing there. I like the Bears just fine.
I guess if I had to pick a team to hate, it would be Philly. But even then, I like Donovan McNabb. After that whole Rush Limbaugh thing last year the brother gets a free pass in my book. OK, so I don't hate any teams.
Hmmm...perhaps the spirit of Christmas really does possess ol' Samichlaus...