Ho Ho Ho! Week 16!

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Ho Ho Ho, Week 16!

St. Ides
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 108-115

Samichlaus
Last Week: 8-8
Season: 116-107

BUCS -3.5 over Falcons
Stick a fork in em, the Falcons are done. This is not a playoff caliber
team. Bucanneers 24, Falcons 17.

I like the Bucs too. Another fast defense spells disaster for Mike Vick and his sick dick. Bucs 27 Falcons 20

Bills +14.5 over BENGALS
That's a lot of points to give. And although the Bengals are still
battling for a possible first round bye, they've got to be a cruise
control just a little bit. Bengals 31, Bills 20.

Only because the Bills are so god awful on the road... Bengals 34 Bills 15

Cowboys +5.5 over PANTHERS
The Cowboys are desperate, but these games still mean something for the
Panthers too, who have not locked up a playoff spot yet. I think
Parcells is overrrated as a coach, and I've never liked him. Ever. Not
his attitude, not his "humor", not his treatment of players, not his
coaching ability. Don't like him. And I don't think the Cowboys have
enough talent to actually make the playoffs. But they should keep this
game close enough. Panthers 24, Cowboys 20.

When each team is equally desperate, and the home team is favored, the question one has to ask is "Are the Cats 5.5 points better than the
Cowboys?" You bet they are. Cats 27 Cowboys 17

Lions +3.5 over SAINTS
The only thing interesting I can say about this game is that Joey
Harrington is back in as starter for the Lions instead of Jeff "Light in
the Loafers" Garcia. Not that anyone cares. Saints 26, Lions 24.

Hands down winner of the "Samichlaus stinker of the season", the only drama here is if the Saints will win one for their hometown fans. Detroit is so horriffic, I think this one is a no-brainer. Saints 31 Detroit 10

TEXANS +6.5 over Jaguars
The Texans generally play the Jaguars tough somehow. And we've said it a
dozen times, but the Jaguars do play down to the level of their
opponent. They're going to get crushed by the Patriots in round one of
the playoffs. That spread will be interesting to see. Jaguars 23, Texans
20.

What's wrong with me? St. Ides's logic makes perfect sense, but for some reason I see the Jags romping in this game. Jags 31 Texans 20

Giants +3.5 over REDSKINS
I think Eli is still a bit too mistake prone to take the Giants deep
into the playoffs, but they should at least win the NFC East this week.
The Giants defense (particularly their pass rush) will be too much for
Mark Brunell to handle. Giants 27, Redskins 17.

This is a tough game to call. The Skins are coming off their biggest win of the year while the Giants are the hottest team in the East. I'll bet it's going to be close. I'll take the Gints and the points. Skins 23 Gints 20

Steelers -7.5 over BROWNS
I've like the Browns and rookie QB Charlie Frye for a few weeks now. But
I think the Steelers are getting hot at the right time, and roll.
Steelers 27, Browns 10.

I agree, the Steelers are starting to gel. Their D is going to be too much for the rookie Frye. Steelers 24 Browns 10

Chargers +1.5 over CHIEFS
This is a huge game for both teams, with the loser likely out of the
playoff hunt. I usually like the Chiefs at home, but the Chargers are
riding high after knocking off the Colts last week. This one comes down
to the last drive of the game, and who does or doesn't get it done.
Chargers 30, Chiefs 29.

Tough game to figure, because the X factor is Arrowhead Stadium, but considering what the Bolts accomplished last week I'm finding it hard to bet against them. Bolts 34 Chiefs 24

Niners +9.5 over RAMS
We really get some meaningless games this late in the season, don't we?
Rams Harvard QB gets to continue his audition for the role of backing up
Bulger next season. Alex Smith continues to prove why he wasn't a #1
overall pick to really get too excited about. Rams 27, Niners 20.

My heart's just not into analyzing this game. Go figure. I'll take Harvard, because if I'm wrong I can count on a detailed and eriudite explanation. Rams 27 Niners 13

DOLPHINS -5.5 over Titans
Titans showed some spunk last week against Seattle. But they're really
not that great. They took advantage of a few slips and stumbles by the
Seattle defense, something the Dolphins won't give them. Dolphins 24,
Titans 17.

The Fish are pretty hot, and at home my guess is that they handle the Titans with ease. Fish 27 Titans 20

Eagles +1.5 over CARDINALS
Remember when both these teams used to be NFC East rivals? Well, maybe
rivals is the wrong word, since the Cardinals always sucked. And still
do. Eagles 27, Cardinals 17.

Shit, now that you mention it, I can't remember the Cardinals EVER being good.... maybe when they had Neil Lomax.. Eagles 31 Cardinals 20

Colts +7.5 over SEAHAWKS
Sad story this week with the death of Tony Dungy's son. The Colts were
likely already mailing this one in after their loss last week. With the
added gloom and distraction on top of that, it'll be hard to see them
giving more than a half-hearted effort from mostly 2nd and 3rd
stringers. Seattle still has home field advantage to play for, but
they'll likely rest some people too. Seahawks 27, Colts 21.

The Dungy story is heartbreaking, and worthy of it's own blog. As far as the game is concerned, my guess is the Colts will win one for their coach. Besides, the Seahawks have a bye next week. Colts 37 Seatte 27

BRONCOS -13.5 over Raiders
Who woulda thunk - there's actually a "Jake Plummer for MVP" bandwagon
starting up. Relax, folks. He'll implode in the playoffs. The Raiders
just flat out stink. I could probably do a better job of getting the
ball to Randy Moss than their QBs have this year. Somehow, he's been
surprisingly quiet though. Maybe he learned a lesson from the TO farce?
Nahhh, he's just waiting for the offseason to mouth off. Broncos 32,
Raiders 16.

I like the Broncos a lot. They are probably the third best team in the NFL behind the Colts and Seahawks. The Raiders, in no uncertain terms, are fucked. Broncos 37 Raiders 17

PACKERS +6.5 over Bears
When was the last time the Packers were getting almost a TD at home
against the Bears? I'm not sure where or how to look it up, but I'm
guessing it was either A) maybe during the great Bears teams of the 80s
before the Favre era started or B) never. Rumor has it that Favre has
been reading the SBS debates on his current talent level, and is out to
make a few points this game. Of course, with his supporting task,
Urlacher will probably eat him alive. Still, look for Rex Grossman to
make all the media peeps praising Lovie Smith for putting him in for
Kyle Orton to second guess that thought as he throws a few picks. Bears
20, Packers 13.

Here's how bad it is for the Packers: today they signed a bartender to handle the punting duties for the rest of the season. Ryan Flinn, who
actually looks a bit like St. Ides, will be filling in for B.J. Sander who
was put on I.R. Sander is the 17th Packer to be put on the Injured Reserve
list this season. Flinn, who missed Packers GM Ted Thompson's phone call
Tuesday because he was sleeping was thrilled to have the opportunity. More
details plus the kid's picture can be found at http://www.packersnews.com/index2.shtml . Meanwhile, the Bears will win
easy. Besides, Favre is washed up and shoud retire. There will be no present
under the Samichlaus tree this year. Bears 34 Packers 20

Vikings +1.5 over RAVENS
Can the Vikings right the ship and have Captain Tice sail them towards
the playoffs? Can I still get away with using lameass "Love Boat"
references to refer to the Vikings? No and no. But they should beat the
Ravens to stay alive until next week at least. Kyle Boller actually
looked like an NFL-caliber QB last week. Two weeks in a row? No chance.
Vikings 23, Ravens 16.

LOL! That Boller kid looked like the best young quarterback in the league besides Carson Palmer, and I think the Vikings are falling apart again. I'm going against the rule of the more desperate team here and taking the Ravens. Ravens 31 Vikings 20

Patriots -4.5 over JETS
The Meadowlands is selling no beer for this game in fear that the
combined Monday Night Football excitement, with the Pats-Jets rivalry,
and the holiday season would lead to a bit too much drunken debauchery.
So they're not selling beer. Talk about a bunch of frickin Scrooges.
Expect the stadium to be half-empty by mid-3rd quarter. It'd be empty by
halftime if it was below 20 degrees, but it's supposed to be in like the
40s. Patriots 27, Jets 12.

The Jets fans have brought this upon themselves. If they weren't a collective bunch of arrogant alcoholic street scum (except my cousin of course) they'd have their beer. New England might give up 7. Pats 24 Jets 7