Kiner's Korner

I was born in 1962 at the beginning of one of the greatest social revolutions in the history of this country. In my life I have seen our culture transformed from a segregated male dominated society to a, well, less segregated less male dominated society. And although the racists and misogynists are holding on for dear life I am sure that by the time I croak I will be able to say that the country had become a better place, at least better than it was in 1962.

One of the things that has noticeably changed is the cultural acceptance of alcohol. I bring this up because of a comment that was posted by bekah on my last blog. Bekah had this to say about John Madden: “I can’t stand watching Monday Night Football because of Madden. I’m sure the man is boozing it up because he says the most unbelieveably retarded things ever, and it gets worse through the night as he gets drunker and drunkerer.”

Back when I was growing up, this was all part of the show…


My earliest recognition of sports broadcasting was watching the Mets games on channel 9 in New York. I remember that Rheingold beer had a commercial between almost every inning, and all I ever wanted to do was get a taste of that amazing golden foamy liquid that appeared on my screen. (And let me be historically accurate: it didn’t appear to be golden until 1969 when dad trotted home with our first color TV… but it always looked quite tasty). Rheingold was the Mets beer. Ballantine was the Yankee beer so in our house we always had Rheingold. I sincerely believe that if someone had showed up at the house with a six of Ballantine as a house warmer, my father would have beaten the living shit out of them. Dad, an old Brooklyn Dodgers fan was funny that way. But I digress…

The Mets broadcast team included Baseball Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner, and folks (I am not kidding here) Kiner was usually pretty lit up by the third inning. His drunken butchery of the English language is legendary in the annuls of New York baseball folklore. When the Mets acquired catcher Gary Carter in 1985, Kiner consistently called him Gary Cooper, particularly in the later innings. Kiner once left Mets fans scratching their heads when he claimed that the Los Angles Dodgers played in the “Eastern Standard Pacific Coast League” time zone. On fathers day one season Kiner wished all the viewers “a happy birthday”. Another broadcast featured Kiner telling fans that the Hall of Fame ceremonies were scheduled for the 31st and 32nd of July.

Kiner was the first person I ever heard curse on the air. During the 1970’s, the Mets had a catcher named Ron Hodges who Kiner liked to call Gil Hodges (a hall of fame colleague of Kiner’s). Once after a game, Kiner while broadcasting his wrap-up show “Kiners Korner” committed his faux-pax and somewhat exasperated said “Dammit I always do that”. On another occasion, Kiner couldn’t remember his own name. The Kiner’s Korner broadcast began with this memorable introduction: “Weclome to Kiner’s Korner, this is uh… I’m uh… uh...”

Often times Kiner was simply a word or two off. For example, instead of saying “The Mets have had their leadoff batter on only once this game” Kiner said “The Mets have had their leadoff batter on only once this inning”. Another time it was “Darryl Strawberry has been voted to the Hall of Fame 5 years in a row” Of course Ralph meant the All Star game. During a May broadcast several years ago Kiner happily proclaimed that “Tony Gwynn was named player of the year for April”. He meant month.

The point I’m making is that back in the day I overlooked this sort of behavior as an acceptable part of the show. It is no wonder that I had my own struggles with alcohol abuse, because frankly it seemed like so much fun. About 10 years ago Kiner contracted Bell’s Palsy which caused him to slur his words even more. I didn’t buy it. My theory was that Kiner had achieved what all drunks hope to achieve: a permanent state of stupid face (that point in the evening when you look in the mirror across the bar and you’ve got that stupid little smile and you really don’t know why). I wonder if that’s what has happened to Madden?

There was no more embarrassing a moment than Suzy Kolber’s infamous interview with a drunken Joe Namath, who kept interrupting Kolber and saying “I want to kiss you”. The days of finding slobbering drunks funny have long since passed for me. The other day I saw a famous clip of a drunken Howard Cosell on Monday Night Football unable to say the word “Philadelphia”. It made me cringe. That was a long time ago, and today that sort of behavior is not tolerated. I guess some of the old timers are having a hard time adjusting to it, or as Ralph Kiner once said: “If Casey Stengel were alive today he’d be spinning in his grave”