First of all, let me say it again: Dr. Z is a moron. I don’t know why I even read him any more, he just pisses me off. This week's piece (which I refuse to link to) basically says that home teams should be penalized when the crowd gets so loud that the visitors can't even hear themselves think. Of course, he was using Seattle's win over the Giants as the example, pointing out how the crowd caused 11 (yes, eleven) false start penalties on the Giants. It's called "home field advantage" for a reason, jackass. His argument is that a game should be decided by the talent of the players on each team, not by the environment. So, by that argument, every major league baseball stadium should be the exact same dimensions (so long Green Monster!) at the exact same altitude (adios Colorado!) with the exact same temperature (goodbye outdoor stadiums!). This guy should just focking retire already. God, I hate him.
Meanwhile, with another nice week, St. Ides is chipping away at the once huge advantage Samichlaus held in the season standings:
Samichlaus
Last Week:
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 89-86
St. Ides
Last Week: 11-5
Season: 83-92
Greetings SBS fans! Here’s an insider tip for you to think about: the quality of our picks is directly proportional to the quality of our respective teams. Perhaps this quirk is directly related to the quality of interest in the games, as it has been difficult for me to get behind a team consisting of Brett Favre and the NFL Europe all-stars. Or is it Arena League? I always confuse the two….
Now, exactly where did Dr. Z get his medical degree?
Falcons +3.5 over PANTHERS
I'm beginning to seriously doubt the Panthers. Everybody loves to talk about how lucky Seattle has gotten, and how they should have lost a few games they've won. Meanwhile, the Panthers are barely escaping against crappy teams most weeks. PS - Their 3 losses include losses to New Orleans and Miami. I'll leave it to my colleague to tell us no way does Michael Vick's herpes riddled penis wins this game. Falcons 24, Panthers 19.
LOL! OK, I will: First, rumor has it that Mike Vick hauled his herpes infested penis over to Dr. Z for a physical. Z took one look at the Hokie’s member and said “I’m starting to suspect that my loyal readers are figuring out that my column is nothing but a secret forum to bash the Seahawks. Oh, and take a couple of Tylenols”. Vick replied “I have two things going for me: my brain, my arms, my legs and my herpes infested penis”. Panthers 27 Falcons 20
Bills +4.5 over DOLPHINS
The Bills should have beaten the Panthers last week. Not so sure I like them on the road, but I'm still confused about the Dolphins. If the points were less than a field goal, I'd probably take the Dolphins. But I'll take 4 and a half in what should be a pretty low-scoring game. Dolphins 16 Bills 13.
I’m going to concur, despite my better judgment. As awful as the Bills have been on the road they are the more desperate team. Believe it or not they still have a shot at the division, and at this stage of the season the rule of the more desperate team applies: Bills 20 Fishes 17
STEELERS -3.5 over Bengals
The talk this week has been about Big Ben's thumb injury (supposedly similar to the one he had when he had that awful 3 INT playoff appearance last season) and what kind of "surprise" TD celebration Chad Johnson has planned. It's funny, because most writers are saying how he's creative and exciting and interesting, and how that's a big subplot in this game, seeing what he does WHEN he scores. How's this for a subplot? The Steelers defense keeps him out of the end zone, and we never see the celebration. It's not like catching a TD in every single game is an automatic thing. Steelers ought to be fired up for this divisional game at home after a pretty lackluster showing against the Colts. Steelers 27, Bengals 23.
OK, the Boomer Esiason thing stopped being funny about 8 weeks ago, I admit it. I’m going with the Bengals for two reasons. First, the Bengals are the second best team in football. Second, in my opinion Carson Palmer is the best young quarterback in the game. Third, Big Ben is hurting. And Fourth, my brain and my arms and my legs. Bengals 27 Steelers 13
Cowboys +3.5 over GIANTS
Both these teams suffered heartbreaking losses to Seattle so far this season, and now they're in a dogfight for the NFC East. Winning this game is huge for both teams, considering the runner-up in the East might not even snag a wild card. The Giants got good pressure on Hasselbeck last week, even against future Hall of Famer Walter Jones. The Cowboys offensive line is much weaker, and we know Bledsoe isn't good under pressure. Still, the Cowboys defense is pretty good too. I think the Giants pull it out, but just barely. Giants 23, Cowboys 20.
“Future Hall of Famer Walter Jones”? Yep, because the hall of fame is chock full of Offensive Linemen. Poor Fuzzy Thurston isn’t even in the hall and he was as important an O lineman as the Lombardi Packers had (well, except for hall of famer Jerry Kramer). BTW, on our last night in Green Bay Mrs. Samichlaus and I decided to pay a visit to Fuzzy’s Bar and Grill. We walked in to what looked like the bar that Jodie Foster gets raped in “The Accused”, looked at each other and left. Giants win easy: Giants 24 Cowgirls 17
Packers +7.5 over BEARS
I read somewhere that Favre plays pretty well in Chicago. And I think the Bears are due for a letdown game. Packers 20, Bears 16.
You read right. The Packers have won 11 in a row in Chicago. Favre is 21-5 overall against the Bears, including 8-2 since Mike Sherman became his coach. His passer rating against Chicago is 93.8. The question is what can this team do to Chicago? The Bears have the best defense in football, and the Packers Arena League All Stars (or is it NFL Europe.. I always confuse them) will be hard pressed to move the ball. I’m going to pick ‘em anyway. They’ve always managed to keep Urlacher at bay, and if the Bears have a weak link it’s their secondary. A word of caution: if at game time the wind is blowing Chicago hard, change your pick. Packers 27 Bears 17
RAVENS -8.5 over Texans
The Texans are awful, just awful. The Ravens aren't much better, and that's a lot of points to give, but I can't see Houston mounting any kind of offense. Ravens 13, Texans 3.
When the Texans had that big lead last week I started to think that maybe just maybe we’d see Reggie Bush wearing the Green and Gold next season. So much for that. How the hell do you blow ANY kind of lead to a quarterback from Harvard??? Ravens 24 Texan 10
BROWNS +3.5 over Jaguars
See previous mentions of Jags playing down to their competition. Throw in that Leftwich is out, and maybe we have an upset in the making? It also looks like Dilfer might miss the game, so in comes that Frye kid who Braylon Edwards has been pushing for. Breakout game? Maybe. Browns 24, Jaguars 23.
Check this out: the Browns are a home dog against a warm weather team in December. I like the pick too, Charlie Frye and all. Browns 27 Jaguars 24
Vikings -3.5 over LIONS
Mariucci? Gone. Harrington? Benched. GM Matt Millen? Somehow this clown still has a job. The Vikings continue their post-Love Boat, post-Culpepper surge against a confused and embattled Lions team. Maybe Barry Sanders had it right retiring when he did if he was going to be stuck on this sorry excuse of a franchise. Vikings 27, Lions 13.
I’m actually starting to like Mike Tice. He’s like this big stupid lummox but maybe, just maybe, he’s been able to reach the team. The Lions are out and the Vikes have a chance at the division. Oh, and Dick Jauron isn’t half the coach that Mariucci is. Vikings 30 Lions 17
Bucanneers -3.5 over SAINTS
The Saints barely beat the Jets last week. Nuff said. Bucs 20, Saints 10.
Does any one know where the Saints are playing this week? How this spread is only 3.5 is a mystery to me…. Bucs 30 Saints 17
COLTS -15.5 over Titans
Did I already say I'm taking the Colts for the rest of the season? They could be giving frickin 30 at this point. Colts 34, Titans 16.
How good is this Colts team? Right now they’re one of the best I’ve ever seen. The Titans have about as much of a chance as the 1980 USA Hockey team had against the Soviets, and an upset like that only comes along once in a lifetime. PS: I’m still alive. Colts 41 Titans 13
NINERS +3.5 over Cardinals
Kurt Warner on the road giving points? I'll take it, even against San Fran. Throw in that kicker Neil Rackers, who was on pace to smash the single-season record for field goals, is out, and it's quite possible the Cardinals offense does absolutely nothing. Niners 17, Cardinals 13.
Without further adieu, the Samichlaus Stinker of the week. I'll take the Cards simply because I want to be different. Cards 27 Niners 20
Redskins -3.5 over RAMS
Have you heard about this rookie 7th round QB out of Harvard who led the Rams back to the victory last week? He did look pretty good from what I saw, but it was against the frickin Texans. The Redskins defense ought to be a bit more of a challenge. Not to mention the Rams defense can't stop anybody. Redskins 27, Rams 20.
The battle of the mediocrities: both teams are 5-6 and both teams have been disappointing. I’m going to take the home dog, Harvard guy and all. Redskins 24 Rams 23
CHIEFS +1.5 over Broncos
I'm still waiting for Jake Plummer to implode. What better place than in KC against a pretty good team that needs this win pretty badly to stay in the playoff hunt? Chiefs 24, Broncos 22.
St. Ides is correctly applying the rule of the more desperate team, but he is applying it incorrectly. If the Chiefs win then the Broncos become an equally desperate team. In other words, this game is important to both. With that said, I’m going to take the better team, even though it means betting against K.C. at home. Broncos 31 Chiefs 24
PATRIOTS -10.5 over Jets
That's a lot of points for the banged up Pats to give. Somehow I think a visit from the Jets is just the thing they need to get geared up for the playoff push. Patriots 26, Jets 13.
I’m so done with the Patriots, they can’t beat anyone by 10.5. Wait, is Brooks Bollinger still the Jets QB?. Pats 27 Jets 17
CHARGERS -11.5 over Raiders
So much for Kerry Collins putting together a nice year with Randy Moss. They couldn't even beat the Dolphins at home last week. Expect Tomlinson to run amuck. Chargers 33, Raiders 20.
Agreed. The Raiders are done done done. Bolts 34 Raiders 16
EAGLES +4.5 over Seahawks
The reverse jinx remains perfect! Although I do think Seattle pulls this one out, I don't think they'll cover. It's kind of funny, Seattle is 9-2, the second best record in the whole NFL, and they're STILL not getting respect. "They got lucky in this game" or "They should have lost that game" people are saying. What they are forgetting that every team has games like that every year. Including Super Bowl Champions. And really, "Seattle should have won the Redskins game" and be 10-1 right now. The winning field goal hit the upright. Oh, and if you hadn't heard, the NFL apologized to Holmgren for making the wrong calls on the two Giants TD catches last week. In the past, it'd be the same old, "Well, we never have any luck" when that came out. This year, somehow, we're winning DESPITE getting some horrible calls against us. It's as if the Football Gods somehow had forgotten the Seahawks the past 5 years. Then this year it was like "Oh crap, somehow we've missed out on evening out the Football Karma for Seattle for the past 5 years! Let's review their caseload…." A few hours later… "Wow, this team has gotten screwed over numerous times lately.. We owe them.. Big time… And we better keep an eye on any more bad calls that go against them this year too. Let's make this team one of those "Destiny" teams this year... " And you know what? We'll take it. It's about effin time. Seahawks 30, Eagles 27.
The Eagles are almost as bad as the Packers. A good team should be able to exploit their D, and if Favre hadn’t been so goddamn awful last week the Packers would have. Seattle, the best team in the NFC, won’t have any problems. Seattle 31 Eagles 20
tonights MNF game should be fun - gonna be snowing and should hanicap the high flying offense of the HAWKS....did someone say UNDER?
ReplyDeleteI will not finish the 2nd half as usual - can't MNF start at like 7pm or something, i'm too old and my 2 kids get up way too early.
I remember rooming with St Ides in college, and he would roll outta bed just in time for the 4pm kick-off on weekends, or sometimes he would sleep in for the 8pm ESPNer.
Nah, during football season, I'd usually drag myself out of bed by halftime of the 1pm games. :P
ReplyDeleteThe best was senior year, after a keg party the night before.. I'd come over from next door with a blanket wrapped around me, and we'd plop the leftover keg in the middle of the living room. We didn't even have to leave our seats to refill our glasses, just passed the tap hose around. Ahhh, those were the days.
"Ty Law gets alllll my love!"
(While he was playing at Michigan. :P )
PS - It took a little effort, but I cleaned up the formatting mess.. A few too many "span class=fullpost" tags floating around in there. Sometimes being able to stare at a garble of HTML and understanding what's wrong comes in handy.
ReplyDelete