Week 6 Picks (Part One) (and Part Two!!)

Holy crap, I think Samichlaus only got 1 right last week.. Let me double-check that, please hold.... Yep, the only winner he picked was the Patriots. Ouch. That'll be a rough hole to get out of.. Maybe now is a good time to break out the "drop your worst week and pretend it never happened" rule for our overall scores...

Wowsers! I was right! That was my worst week ever! The good news is my picks should start improving significantly, because I am officially employed! It's obvious that while I wasn't working I had waaayyyy too much time on my hands to analyze football picks, thus leading to the debacle that was week 5.

On a personal note, Friday was our 5th wedding anniversary, and Mrs. Samichlaus and I enjoyed a fabulous night on the town here in the windy city. We dined at Signatures, a restaurant that sits atop the John Hancock tower, enjoyed a fireworks display at the Navy Pier, and headed back to our hotel for some special husband and wife time that frankly put the Navy Pier display to shame...


Last Week:
St. Ides: 5-9
Samichlaus: 1-13

Season:
St. Ides: 29-31
Samichlaus: 18-42

Texans +6.5 over JAGUARS
The Texans got off to a good start... and have pretty much collapsed lately. You're going to hear me saying "I don't trust" quite a bit this year, as just about 90% of the teams in this league have glaring weaknesses that cause more than a little uneasy when picking them. Hell, what the heck, let's see if I can work the phrase into every single pick. Call it a cheap gimmick, but whatever. So let's get this party started: I don't trust David Garrard or the Jags receivers. Texans 23, Jaguars 20.

I don't trust my own damn judgment any more. However I am under contract to provide my insight. The Texans are getting healthy, enough to keep this game close. They don't have the horsepower to win, but I like the cover. Jags 24 Texans 20

Rams +9.5 over RAVENS
I don't trust the Ravens D. I don't trust Steve McNair. And I don't trust the Ravens to blow out anybody. Ravens 19, Rams 13.

Like St. Ides, I too have little faith in the Ravens. But McNair is questionable, and Kyle Boller if given the opportunity will shine against the Rams. Meanwhile the Rams are seriously f-'d up. Their injury report reads like a casualty list from Antietam. I'm going the other way on this one: Ravens 31 Rams 20


BROWNS -4.5 over Dolphins
I don't trust Cleo Lemon. I don't trust the Dolphins defense to return its usual self. And I actually like what I've seen from the Browns offense lately. Interesting subplot: Dolphins loudmouth LB Joey Porter is talking smack about Browns TE Kellen Winslow. Apparently the smack talking goes back to the Browns-Steelers rivalry. Including calling Winslow a fag last year. Porter this week said something like, "He's not a tight end. He's a wide receiver. He can't block nobody." And Winslow replied, "Man, why is he so angry all the time? I think he needs a hug." Hahah. I enjoyed that comeback. Browns 26, Dolphins 20.

Sadly, the Dolphins are a joke. I was checking their website earlier this week (I TOLD you I was putting too much time into this) and the propaganda was "Cam Cameron is still adjusting the roster to find the right chemistry" For cripes sake, it's week 6. Cleo Lemon brings his 53.6 QB rating to the table, and that's just wrong. Don't be surprised if John Beck doesn't finish this one. Browns 27 Dolphins 10

CHIEFS +2.5 over Bengals
I don't trust Herm Edwards. I don't trust the Bengals defense. And I don't trust the Bengals defense on the road in KC. If Larry Johnson is ever going to get it going this year, this is the game to do it. Although if the Bengals offense gets going, it might be tough for the Chiefs to keep up, even against this defense. Bengals 28, Chiefs 27.

I hate picking against the home dog, but here it is: The Bengals are just better than the Chiefs. I've lost faith in Herm Edwards, and honestly the Bengals can light it up. Even at Arrowhead. Bengals win, and easy. Bengals 34 Chiefs 20

BUCANNEERS -2.5 over Titans
I don't trust the Titans on the road against a good team coming off a tough divisional loss. Like I said in my Power Rankings, I'm starting to buy into the idea that Jeff Garcia is a slightly above average QB who can win games. This should be a pretty good test for Vince Young, and if he pulls this game out, maybe it's time to start taking the Titans a bit more seriously. Bucs 20, Titans 17.

I still don't buy into the Bucs. Garcia is a good QB, but Vince Young is a stud. The Bucs are good at home and will be fired up this week, but in the end (insert Jeff Garcia joke here) Vince Young and the Titans will prevail. Titans 27 Bucs 24

PACKERS -3.5 over Redskins
I'm tempted to take the Skins and the points, but I'll go with the idea that the Packers are legit and they bounce back nicely from last week's loss. Plus, I don't trust Jason Campbell as a full-time starting QB in the NFL. Packers 27, Skins 20.

I'm not very confident after the second half stinker I witnessed last week. The Skins play that same cover 2 that the Bears play, and the Pack had no answer for the Bears adjustments. My head is still spinning over that one. However, I'm sticking with my boys. They need a dominating home game as they head into the bye week, and Favre & Co will deliver exactly that. Packers 31 Skins 10

Eagles -2.5 over JETS
I don't trust Donovan McNabb. At all. I also don't trust Chad Pennington and the bad mojo Mangini brought down upon the Jets. Could it be... could it... let's see here, let me peek at the rest of the games... Yep! It's two 2006 Playoff teams in the Stinker of the Week! Eagles 24, Jets 20.

Absolutely the stinker of the week. The Eagles at least have shown some potential, and the Jets really haven't. I'll bet Giants Stadium is going to be a disaster area, with Eagle fans making the trek up to the Meadowlands. The beer fights will be starting early, and the Eagles will win the game: Eagles 24 Jets 17

Vikings +5.5 over BEARS
Wow, tough call on this one. I don't trust either offense or QB. I guess I'll take the points, even though I think the Vikings absolutely stink. Speaking of which, former Wolverine and Seahawk (and current St. Ides All-Hated Team member) Steve Hutchinson has been described as "clumsy" looking this season. In fact, let's quote SI's Dr. Z (who I generally can't stand): "Right side of the O-line is a disaster. Left side was supposed to be the money side, but Bryant McKinnie gives up sacks and all-world Steve Hutchinson is effective at times, clumsy at other times." Maybe sometime soon people will realize he only looked so dope in Seattle cause he was next to Walter Jones, and they'll stop voting him to the Pro Bowl on rep alone. Bears 17, Vikings 13.

Quoting Dr. Z? Talk about "the enemy of my enemy is my friend"... The Bears big win in Green Bay has really got Chi-town fired up. That was the kind of win that turns around a franchise. Meanwhile the Vikes are still coached by Brad Childress who is an idiot. I never thought I'd say this but they were better off with Mike Tice. I'll go with da Bears: Bears 20 Vikings 10


CARDINALS -3.5 over Panthers
Holy crap, can the Cardinals be for real? Someone double-check the calendar and make sure it's not the 1999, cause the starting QBs in this game could very well be Kurt Warner and Vinny Testaverde. I don't trust QBs over the age of 40, unless their name is Favre. Arizona needs to win this game to be taken seriously as a playoff contender in the NFC. Cardinals 23, Panthers 17.

Hey, this is so cool! Vinny Testaverde's middle name is Frank! That's two of my older brothers names: Vinny and Frank! But I digress. Testaverde has been struggling to learn the playbook this week, making them easy pickings for the suddenly real Cardinals. I like the Cards too. Cardinals 24 Panthers 17

Raiders +10.5 over CHARGERS
That's a lot of points for a 2-3 team to be giving a 2-2 divisional rival. I don't trust Phillip Rivers, I don't trust the Chargers coaching staff, and I don't trust their unjuiced defense. Chargers should win, but won't cover. The Raiders defense is actually pretty good, better than some of the other defenses that have shut down Tomlinson so far this year. Chargers 24, Raiders 23.

I don 't think it will be as close as St. Ides thinks, but I do think he's got the pick right. The Bolts have been disappointing to say the least while the Raiders have been surprising. I think this game will be close enough to take the Raiders and the points: Chargers 27 Raiders 20


Patriots -4.5 over COWBOYS
I don't trust Tony Romo in a big game against a good defense. I don't trust the stone hands of TO. I don't trust the Cowboys secondary. See my previous posts about what I told Anonymous about this game. The summary: Pats have got nothing to worry about. Patriots 38, Cowboys 20.

The Cowboys barely beat the Bills last week, if not for the ineptitude of a team that can't cover an onside kick. I like New England too, a team that has shown no weakness and an ability to dominate even when they're not at their best. New England 37 Dallas 24

Saints +6.5 over SEAHAWKS
I don't trust Matt Hasselbeck right now. I don't trust the offensive line's run-blocking, or Shaun Alexander's tap-dancing running style. I don't trust Seattle to put away a desperate Saints team who's better than their record. And I don't trust I'll be able to keep writing football pieces if Seattle keeps letting me down. Saints 20, Seahawks 13.

LOL! Please keep writing football pieces! You're the one bringing legitimacy to this blog! Seahawks at home against a Saints team that has shown nothing. I'm sensing a Seattle win, and I'm hoping it a big one. But it won't be. The Saints lose, but cover: Seahawks 27 Saints 24


FALCONS +3.5 over Giants
I don't trust that the Giants defense is really as good as they've looked in some games. I don't trust Eli Manning on the road. And I don't trust the Michael Vick jinx against the Falcons. (They've already broken it by wining one game, no?) Giants 31, Falcons 30.

My lord, haven't the poor Falcons suffered enough? At least this week and arbitrator ruled that they can recover 20 million dollars of Vick's signing bonus. That's the surest sign that the curse may have been short lived. I see a Falcons win: Falcons 27 Giants 24